John Hattaway

For those that have never read my reviews of John Zakour’s books (Plutonium Blonde, Doomsday Brunette, Radioactive Redhead, Frost-Haired Vixen, and Blue-Haired Bombshell). Heck, I even interviewed the author. This is a writer I actually enjoy reading and even though I have (as yet) not gotten back to Frost-Haired Vixen (I promised to give it a second chance) I still intend to read it and look forward to his forthcoming Zachary Nixon Johnson book, The Flaxen Femme Fatale, which I will probably race out and purchase the moment it is available and then add it to the stack of books (including Neil Gaiman’s The Graveyard Book and Lauren Mclaughlin’s Cycler and others) and I will probably read right after The Graveyard Book and right before the next thing I decide to read and all after I am buttoning up my scores and grades and final semester at BYU.

The point to this is not to tell you what I already have to read, but more to tell you that you should head over to John’s writing blog: Tales of a “midlist” writer. He has written a couple of useful posts (me thinks). Recently he wrote about outlining. He also talks about ARC’s being sent out (how do I get on those lists people?) and early reviews for The Flaxen Femme Fatale and how this helps him continue writing the follow-up book. And, apparently, he is taking this series into comic book format. I actually, very much, enjoy this author and even though I doubt I would swim in the same circle (I don’t do conventions and he is published and I am not), I dig what the dude does. So, shamefully plugging him especially if you are interested in writing and want to see what his process is life (which is why he started this particular website).

Real Heroes Fly

I am offering the world my list of priorities. These are the things, and to some extent the order of priority, that I take into consideration when making some of the choices I make. Believe it or not, different priorities will leap to the top of the list that seem rather low. That is because I also realize that different people have different levels of need at different times and as a result of that, I will change my priorities accordingly.

What is interesting to me is that I have touched up on this before.

1.) Family:
In this context my priority is specifically Erin and codename: CAMPER. Erin first, CAMPER second. There should be no secrets about this to anyone. “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2: 24) This scripture is repeated in Matthew, Mark, Moses, and Abraham. What I take from this is that even if I were a self-serving individual, the moment I married my self-servedness would include my wife as religion dictates that we become one (in the eyes of God) after marriage. Not only that, but we agree through the marriage covenant that we will leave our parents and begin doing things together rather than separately. This includes having a family. Where before marriage I should, and rightfully so, be concerned with myself and providing for myself; once I become married I change that focus to include wife and then child(ren). Anyone who considers this an inappropriate or wrong priority needs to refocus on their own priorities.

2.) Religion:
This priority may not be the same one for everyone. But it is one that, given different names, everyone has high on their list. Religion, for me, is literally a religion. In my, and my families case, that religion is Mormonism or The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. What we often forget, and what many use as an excuse, is that we find God through religion. And you find God through God’s organized religion and sermons and relationships with others who share similar beliefs. To some degree every faith on the planet regardless of where it exists worships and seeks after signs of a living God. Give that god a name and you will know of whom you seek. However, regardless of religious faith or sect or location or even if your religion is that of the NFL, NBA, NRA, or RNC and DNC you will follow your God. The bible, especially the Law of Moses, talks about not worshipping false idols and when you listen in church sooner or later someone is going to draw attention to the television and people who focus their lives and/or priorities around TV. I think this is accurate for such a small percentage of any population that the connection rarely works, but there are people who are converted to different ideas that don’t include organized religion and in some cases might qualify in this area.

3.) Writing:
I have never hidden the fact that I make writing a priority in my life. Writing fiction and more recently writing essays are one of the more important things to me. This has not changed and at almost all times in my life, when I’ve been around siblings or parents or even (now) Erin and codename: CAMPER, writing still takes a certain amount of my time and there is absolutely no getting around that. This is what happens when an individual is almost solely focused on specific areas. For as long as I can remember and at least all the way back to Virginia when my family lived there all I have ever wanted to be is a writer, all I have ever wanted to do is write, and the outcome is that I am focused specifically in that area. In order to obtain my goals I have to write and in order to write it has to be a priority.

4. ) Work:
Right now my work priority is school. I get up, go to class, read lots of books, write papers, outline projects, and make sure that by December 19 I have sufficiently accomplished my goal by graduating. I will, to a large extent, continue my education after my undergraduate. When it is necessary or essential, I work a job. Recently I’ve gone on terminal leave with the job on campus and don’t honestly expect to be back because of other more urgent needs at the moment. With that said, when I am not in school, my working full-time and providing for myself, my wife, and my child(ren) is the high priority. I wonder at what point in my life I will find a career and be happy for the unforeseeable long-term; however, at the same time, I am happy to get up and do what is necessary to make sure we have the money necessary to pay bills and have a little left over for savings and some of the things that Erin and I want and need to do with our lives. At some point, writing fiction or essays may be how we make our money, but at present reality and life indicate that my priority in this area is that I work jobs that I am qualified for, that fall within my functional capacity, and that my overall and specific flexibility allows me to function within.

5.) Family:
Yes. This is a second priority with the same title. And yet, I have more of a family than Erin and codename: CAMPER. This family includes my parents and brother’s and sister’s and to some extent Erin’s parent’s and brother and by a much further extension cousin’s. The farther, genetically, you move away from me (and Erin) the lower this priority falls. However, I do realize and recognize that family is a priority and before marriage siblings (and parents) took a much higher priority in my life because, quite honestly, I had not “[left] my mother and father …,” yet. As a result, I could focus on areas that appeared more important, which also meant that I was more available to run to the hospital and sit with a sick sibling for hours on end, or run to a treatment facility and sit with a dying grandparent, or run to Colorado and help my parents (who, interestingly enough, are not sick), or one of a host of other things to include digging out water mains or dry walling or pouring cement or running cable or watching children or watching dogs or a lot of other things. This priority falls lower not because it is any less important, but it has to be weighed against higher priorities that affect my wife and child(ren) and our future stability.

6.) Friends:
Friendship is an interesting thing to me. I do not combine this with family and I do not prioritize it at the same level as family. That’s because it’s not family. These are people I choose to associate with and under different circumstances, there are people I no longer choose to associate with. The associations with these people are the result of choice and as a result I can walk away from someone whom I consider a friend and not think about it again. Whereas I cannot walk away from family and not consider the consequences of stopping a relationship or even wanting to stop a relationship. There are ways where family, in this context, lowers itself to the level of friends and that is when a family member elevates friendship above family and chooses to support something that, really, means absolutely nothing while ignoring family obligations. The reason this is true is that I will elevate and reprioritize based on immediate need and circumstances and I will de-evelate based on other people’s choices. In this context, I think stating something to the effect of, “I can’t hear you because your actions are screaming louder than your words,” seems appropriate. What is important here is that I will not elevate my friends above family given two equal and immediate needs. Family comes first. And my wife and child(ren) comes first, first.

7.) The stranger on the road:
Yes. This is a priority. It has jumped up and bitten me on my hind-quarters at least once, but I am still concerned with the stranger. Call me a Samaritan. I watch out for other people especially when I am driving. If there is an accident on the road and no one has stopped I will stop. Occasionally, if someone needs a ride, I will offer them a ride. If I am somewhere and it is clear that someone needs money and I have some I will donate money. When I make enough money, I donate to local charities that will use what I donate to help people within the community. On top of that we pay tithing to help the church, and fast-offerings to help people within the church and the community. I recognize this as a priority and I take it seriously. It, however, is one of those things that is prioritized low more because I don’t have the means to always do what I want to do. I hope that this will change in the very near future.

To my way of thinking a list like this should come as no surprise to anyone. Granted, there are people who will assume that because my priorities were different and skewed toward siblings and parents before I got married that I would maintain that as the highest priority. I am sorry to say, that is not the case. I believe that priorities rightfully change over time and as a result, and because it’s not really that convenient, people’s feelings can become hurt. However, it is under these priorities and subsequent obligations that I have made some of the choices in my life because, honestly, at some point in my life, I have to be my own priority.

Real Heroes Fly

One of the few things Rush Limbaugh ever said that I thought was worth hearing was, “Words mean things.” Granted, that is a rather simple way of saying that words have definitions and we are required to understand not only what the definitions of words are but also how those definitions affect what we are saying and what we intend to be saying. The English language is vague and there is no way to sufficiently transfer exact meaning of thoughts and feelings to other people, but within social context and literal definition we can get closer to a real understanding of what is meant.

The outcome of all of this is both appropriate speech and innapropriate speech in different social constructs. If you want to get some rather negitive connotations across, the language has wording built into it where the negative can be stated effectively with vernacular that is also very offensive. On the other hand, we have words and phrases that are very appropriate that get different meanings across that are positive in nature. As a result, there are positive words and phrases and negative words and phrases both of which combine with cultural meaning to give substance to what is said.

As a result, when the world talks about marriage it is not simply the union of two people. There is more to it than that. The LDS faith, under President Gordon B. Hinckley, defined marriage, in The Family: A Proclamation to the World:

“… solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”

This was presented to the world in 1995, thirteen years before people have tried to redefine what marriage is and between whom. In the context of LDS doctrine, marriage is expressly between a man and a woman, is specifically part of The Plan of Salvation, and as such it is essential that members of the LDS faith either believe that when a prophet speaks they are under obligation to find out for themselves whether or not what the prophet said is true. In theory, what this means is that individuals will ponder, search, and pray about the revelation and then act accordingly.

In the context of Proposition 8 in California, what is happening is a redefining of what marriage is. Marriage is, traditionally, only between a man and a woman. World religions do not, pretty universally, acknowledge same-sex relationships. The outcome of this is not that same-sex couples don’t have the agency necessary to make the choice to be couples, but as a religion we do not support the notion that they have the right to redefine the historic, religious, and traditional definition of marriage. Marriage is, again, specifically between a man and a woman.

To me there should be no misunderstanding of what the position of the LDS church is and history dictates that there should be no confusion about what the LDS church will do. The LDS church has gotten involved in political discussions where questions that come up that directly contradict the stated doctrine of the church. I agree with church officials when they state that this is a moral issue and not just a political issue. I disagree with individuals who state that this is only a political issue.

What bothers me is that people make this an issue of equal rights. There are no equal rights questions here. This is not an issue of a minority group being treated differently. Being gay does not make someone a minority. I agree that being black or Hispanic or Asian or one of hundreds of other distinguishable things makes a person a minority. Being homosexual does not.

Claiming that homosexuality makes a person a minority is like claiming that being a theater major in college with an emphasis on bad one-act plays written by cloistered monks makes an individual a minority as well. The difference in this case is that people who are homosexual have more money and more political power than a college grad focussing on something that results in his or her stopping acting and starting the delivery of pizzas. The point is that I don’t think, and you cannot sufficiently argue, that homosexual individuals can be described as a legitimate minority for the same reason that the graduate who decided to deliver pizzas to eat can decide to go back to school or change focus and move on with their lives.

Yes, as the LDS church has stated, I believe that there are some genetic causes for homosexuality. Again, this does not inherently denote that an individual is automatically a part of a minority. At some point in the future we might be able to perform blood tests and see who has the proclivities toward homosexuality. Since that is not possible, at present, and since a homosexual white anglo-saxon male looks the same as a heterosexual white anglo-saxon male and since blood tests and other tests are going to come up identical, a scientific argument is much harder.

Can people believe they are born homosexual? Yes. I can also believe that the moon is made of cheese. My belief does not make it so. However, belief often leads to faith and faith leads to knowledge and since knowledge is the outcome of people expressing theories that are either proved or disproved the outcome is that I will not rule out an individuals belief of sexual orientation. I do know, in the cases where I’ve had intimate contact with homosexual individuals, that they speak in terms of choice and only speak in terms of genetic presidosition only when challenged on choice (or in many cases are tired of the challenge), and as a result, what people say is important.

Do I care that people are hurt by the definition of marriage? Yes and no, but not really. Yes, because I think a lot of honest people had their hopes and dreams crushed by this ammendment to the California State Constitution because they were told and they chose to believe that in order to be treated the same as everyone else the law has to state that marriage can include same-sex couples. This is not true. Which is why I don’t really care.

The reason I stand in opposition of this everywhere is because there is a slippery slope that these arguments tend to follow. In this case, and because I occasionally follow law suits that take place around the country, I’ve also noted that same-sex couples are taking arguments about discrimination in a whole slew of new areas from companies who don’t want to take “wedding” photos of same-sex couples to individuals who don’t want to “marry” them. What this means is that as a member of the LDS church watching as something that is doctrine (definition of marriage) is taken and redefined and watching as the same group is also suing to make groups who inherently don’t believe in or don’t care to deal with homosexuality are being forced to. What this distills down to is that my church, my worship, what I believe in will eventually be taken away or diluted to the point that it no longer means anything.

What will actually happen is that the work in temples will not stop, but marriage in a temple will simply be moved to other places. In England, since the law requires that all legal contracts be witnessed publicly, the outcome is that all marriages take place first in the eyes of the public and second a sealing takes place within the temple. In the United States, at present, the practice is that if a couple is married civily first they have to wait one year to be sealed in the temple. Since marriage and sealing are synonymous to members of the LDS church in the United States, you might connect same-sex marriage and the temple sealing ceremony makes its way onto court dockets and since the courts have the ability to change legislation (and not direct legality or constitutionality of legislation) they also have the ability to force companies, individuals, and churches to change policy. Ultimately, the LDS church will make the same arrangements anywhere where the definition of marriage is obscured or they will only allow marriages to be performed in temples in states that don’t recognize same-sex marriages.

Now, I admit that this is a worst case scenario. And I also admit that it is a worst case scenario that many homosexual members of the LDS church would like to see adopted. And I admit that I support Proposition 8 and will do what I can to support this as the legal definition anywhere I live. On top of all of that, I also admit that I have stopped following blogs and writers and individuals who (in my opinion) negatively support laws and ammendments like Proposition 8. I actually believe people should voice their opinion and support what they believe is right. If they believe that same-sex marriage is right than I support that opinion, though not the practice. When I am attacked for my beliefs in language that does not support the attack and told that my opinion and beliefs are immoral, that is where I draw the line.

Do what you want, but I support a definition of marriage that restricts it to a man and a woman and no one else.

Real Heroes Fly

I have, effectively, been MIA for the past two days. Not really MIA as the people who need to know where I am and what I am doing have known both (e.g. Erin and codename: CAMPER). However, when it comes to the website, and for at least one class, I have (unfortunately) been MIA. In part this was due to me not feeling well. The backache turned into what I can only describe as FLU and the FLU was symptomatic of the uvula and throat being all swollen and red and on fire… truth told, they are still a bit swollen and still on fire whenever I try to swallow things. The sad thing, though, is that Erin is showing signs of whatever I had (after hurting my back) and codename: CAMPER might also be a little on the side of not feeling well. The combination of several sick people is not the greatest of events in ones life.

Illness has not been the only reason I’ve been MIA. This week something that should’ve been benign decided to blow up into a full-blown mess. What does this mean? Well, I’ve thought about going into a great deal of detail on what it means and have struggled with my feelings on the matter and since this is rather vague and I’ve not come to any real conclusion as to what I should do, I will not turn vague into exacting detail and just say that relationships have a tendency to require new definitions and those definitions may not always be comfortable for different people. Truth told, I think that is saying way too much.

For those who care, though, my back is feeling better. Still a bit weak. But I was able to tote codename: CAMPER out to the car last night and put his car seat into the base. I have also been able to get off the muscle relaxers and the heavy painkillers. One of those those things that I know I hate, and I realize it whenever I am standing in front of a doctor and he is telling me that he is prescribing things like painkillers or muscle relaxers so that I can heal, and I am thinking, “The important thing for me is to think,” and then realizing that I am not exactly thinking clearly because I hurt too much (and Erin is freaked out because I don’t cry and the pain is bad enough that I can’t stop myself from crying) and I need to heal in order to think clearly so I allow the doctor to give me painkillers and muscle relaxers and then three or four days later get mad because my mind is cloudy and feels as though someone stuffed a bunch of cotton up my nose and into my ears and nothing seems to make a lot of sense and I cannot clearly think about what I need to or study or even pay sufficient attention to my wife or child and then I get mad and stop taking painkillers and muscle relaxers in order to move forward with what I am meant to be doing. And as for long run-on sentences, I think that last one was pretty good. Though, I think in the run-on it gets my point sufficiently across to you that things have felt a bit hectic of late.

With all of that said, I think I am doing better. The doctor told me to exercise my abdomen which will, in turn, strengthen my back. I think that will get to start next week. On top of which, our moving plans are moving forward as the landlords have now officially rented the place to someone else after we leave in December and that someone else has decided they want different pieces of furniture we decided we didn’t want and wrote us a check. Erin’s auntie is flying out to help with codename: CAMPER and to help us drive from here to Massachusetts, which is very nice of her and we are looking forward to it. She is coming out with enough time, and I think expectations, to help pack up the house and get things into the moving truck, which in turn should be a load of fun. At some point in my life I would love to have someone else pay for my moves and do most of the heavy lifting. Of course, at present, I would also love to have a job before we move rather than waiting until we get to Massachusetts and finding a job. On the sad side of things, the job I wanted and was trying to get was taken off the table because the education budget for the state of Massachusetts has been reduced which means the budget for the university I was applying to has been reduced by about $12 million, which then means that the regent of the school has decided that all job searches are now terminated (and they will contact me if and when they can start the hiring process again to see if I am still interested in the job).

Speaking of universities and colleges, I have written about twelve pages of what I think is a pretty solid sample piece for different MFA-Writing programs. This is good news and as I’ve said (in the past) I intend, at some point, to put things up at http://www.johnhattaway.com/story/ for people to peruse. In this case, though, there will probably be a WARNING to people if it goes up there for content and language and some other things that (I now understand) may be offensive to people. Regardless, lets hope that now that I feel a bit better and Erin is (potentially) involved in the editing process that things might happen.

Real Heroes Fly

Monday night Erin told me she wanted to watch the Comedy Central election night show, Indecision 2008, with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. When it came on I put that as one of the jump channels and flipped between Foxnews and CNN to see what the news agencies were reporting. Interestingly enough, Erin let me watch the returns (not exactly exciting) and Foxnews was far more liberal about awarding states (to Obama) than CNN had been most of the night. I started watching when most of the East Coast had finished and much of the Central States were reporting and before the Mountain States and definitely before the West Coast. As I watched, and Obama was already reporting about 200 electoral votes, I pointed out that California had 50+ (55 actually) electoral votes and all Obama had to do was win the west coast, which has gone Democrat since Reagan, and that with the early returns it was easy to state that Obama had won. Within a couple of hours, and after laughing our way through Indecision 2008, Obama went from about 200 electoral votes to nearly 300 when the west coast reported and the outcome is that he had an electoral landslide. This is what was expected for last night and it was interesting to watch it take place.

The event that really impressed me about the night was when John McCain, the maverick, got up in Arizona and in front of a crowd of supporters, announced that he’d been defeated and that the results were clearly in favor of Obama. When the crowd boo’d, he silenced them. And as he spoke he spoke of the need for the nation to get behind “his” president, President-elect Obama because it was time to support the man who won the election. Of all the things I’ve watched McCain do, this was, possibly, the best speech he has ever given. It was gracious, it acknowledged his defeat, it called his supporters to move forward in support of Obama, and it allowed the world to know that through this process a new leader had been chosen and that leader was going to get his support. I don’t recall either AlGore or John Kerry doing as much and their individual reactions resulted in the nation feeling a split between candidates and parties and having a real and leaving a feeling as though half the nation was disenfranchised. The outcome of McCain’s remarks is healing and as a result Obama taking over will be that much easier.

Yes, I am glad he won; but more, I am glad that things are starting off on the right foot to bring the nation back together.

Real Heroes Fly

Well, as I have, as yet, not been undecided in this election, and am on record as supporting Obama and on record as believing we needed a different set of candidates to choose from, I have now voted and I voted my mind. Put me down for Obama. Yup. That’s right. I punched my ticket for Obama. I am happy.

And since Sunday was our first day back at church since before codename: CAMPER was born, we got to sit through fast and testimony meeting. Essentially a meeting where people come having fasted for about twenty-four hours (with a purpose) and who are encouraged to bear their testimonies for the congregation. What caught my attention was the number of people in prayers and in comments repeated that before we voted we should pray seriously about our decision and then cast our ballot. This seems interesting to me, especially as the LDS church is very vocal about voting your mind and voting your mind means seeking out who the candidates are, what they stand for, how that matches your personal political beliefs and desires, and then voting based off of the best information to you. The reason I bring this up is not that anyone I heard said, “Pray and then vote for McCain,” but more that I think people were stating, “If you are going to vote that God is going to tell you who to vote for.” And by extension, because there is an unwarranted belief that the LDS church is Republican, that by praying about your decision you will invariably vote with the LDS block of voters.

Traditionally I have voted for very conservative candidates. In 1992 I voted Perot. In 1996 I voted for Dole. In 2000 I voted for Bush and in 2004 I voted for Bush. In both 2000 and 2004 I wanted a different candidate and in both cases was so dissatisfied with the Democrat running for president that I felt my choices were so limited as to making me either vote for Bush or not vote at all. In the 2000 election, Ralph Nader was on the ballot, but he’s never impressed me enough to believe he would be a good executive, even though he offers interesting arguments; and in 2004 Nader was not on the ballot in New Hampshire and I couldn’t imagine a world where John Kerry was the President of the United States. I have personal reasons for that. As a result, G.W. got my vote only because I believe in participating in the electoral process.

Regardless of my history of voting, I did decide based off of a variety of reasons, to vote for Obama. I stand by that vote. I think Obama is the better candidate. I agree with everyone who says he does not stand for some of the same things that I stand for, and I agree that the areas he differs from me are significant enough to warrant serious consideration. Regardless, and since it has already been done, I voted Obama and by the end of the night I believe that the networks will declare him the victor and that he will be the next president of the United States.

So, if you haven’t voted yet, and you are registered, get out and vote. Vote your conscience. Vote for the person you think will do the best job. But vote.

Real Heroes Fly

Yesteday, while putting codename: CAMPER into the car, I felt something pop in my back. This was immediately followed by some pretty serious pain which I pushed through, got into the car, and then asked Erin to grab me some ibuprofin to mitigate the discomfort. When we got to church, Erin’s brother carried codename: CAMPER into church and I sat next to Erin while she did most of the work taking care of the baby during the meeting. After the meeting a flock of women came to find Erin and baby (Erin had walked into the lobby to see if she could help her brother get an appointment with the bishop) and were redirected into the lobby. I got to sit in my chair because I was hurting and couldn’t move easily.

When we were walking to the car, my back started to hurt and I couldn’t move. I had to get Erin to help me get into the passenger seat so she could take me home. Follow that with several hours of sitting in a chair and Erin changing a moist hot towel on my back before we called the neighbor to come and give me a blessing and all of this before we went to the Emergency Room at Orem Hospital. We decided to try this Emergency Room because the one at Utah Valley Regional Medical Center (or Provo Hospital) is always wickedly busy and takes forever to get in and out of. In fact, the last time we were there, for Erin’s brother, we ended up spending about six or seven hours. Last night we spent less than two. This is a far improvement; though, I also have to admit, Utah Valley Regional Medical Center is larger, nicer, newer, and cleaner. With that, I think if we needed another Emergency Room visit, I’d still go back to Orem Hospital.

Back to our reason for being in the Emergency Room, I couldn’t move easily, when I did I had shooting pains that nearly paralized me while they were happening. I couldn’t imagine trying to go another night with all of that happening. And it just felt like I needed to see a doctor to be able to function at any point between last night and tomorrow. On the unfortunate side, I get to reschedule taking a test sometime this week; and I am constantly tired with what feels like cotton stuffed between my brain and my thoughts and my mouth. I did tell the doctor that I didn’t want a full dose of whatever painkiller he was going to prescribe because I did need to have some mental faculties working; however, combine that with muscle relaxers and I am in a weird place. I have no idea what time I went to bed, nor how long I slept, though I do know that Erin kept coming into the room and handing me pills and things to drink and teling me she’d be back to check on me later.

I am, for the moment, awake. And I was able to hold and cuddle and move codename: CAMPER around. I couldn’t do that yesterday, which was frustrating. Though I am also pretty certain Erin is paying me a lot of attention on what I am doing and how I am responding. She has been doing the feedings and is pretty much full-time mom, 24/7, for the moment. This is sad as I really like being a partner in this process and I love spending time with baby and I hate not being able to be more actively involved in what is going on.

Needful to say, I hurt my back. I got to go to the Emergency Room. I am on painkillers and muscle relaxers. And I am pretty certain the way I am feeling (especially under the influence of prescription drugs) is not going to allow me to function on any level in classes for at least one more day. Sad. Very sad.

Real Heroes Fly

I found a second blog I was reading that I will no longer be following. This makes two in just under a year where the author moved sufficiently (and consistently) away from the reasons I would read their blogs into areas that I don’t agree, feel that the individual is wrong, and where the individual has chosen to take a “high road” approach to the argument, when in reality they are taking a standard and rather low approach to their argument.

Case in point: Marriage in California. I am to believe, by reading different blogs, that marriage should be extended to everyone regardless of personal choice. The wording used is bigotry. Went to the OED and this is the definition:

A. n.

1. A religious hypocrite; (also) a superstitious adherent of religion. Obs.

2. a. A person considered to adhere unreasonably or obstinately to a particular religious belief, practice, etc.

b. In extended use: a fanatical adherent or believer; a person characterized by obstinate, intolerant, or strongly partisan beliefs.

B. adj. (attrib.). Of or characteristic of a bigot; bigoted. Also fig. Now rare.

A bigot, and I like this, is someone who works in opposition to stated religious beliefs. In the case of same-sex marriage, a rather large percentage of the population believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. As a result, the bigot is literally the individual who states that belief and then doesn’t act according to that stated belief. Unfortunately, a person who adheres too strictly to stated beliefs is also a bigot. There is a pattern here: don’t act the hypocrit and don’t act the fanatic. The final definition (2b) states: a person characterized by obstinate, intolerant, or strongly partisan beliefs. From here we can get the argument people use for bigot.

Whether or not California or any other state legally define marriage as anything other than between that of a man and woman isn’t the issue. What is the issue is that people use language of intolerance to define people whom they consider intolerant. In the case of this argument, the writer whose blog I will no longer read, decided to describe anyone who disagrees with him as a bigot and that in time those bigots will see the error of their ways and come to his point-of-view. The outcome of this is that he is invariably expecting to be right and does not allow for any faults in his argument, which are actually easy to break. For this author (who is heterosexual), the same-sex marriage issue has only one answer and there is no gray space in the argument.

The reason this is an argument is because of religious beliefs. Now, I don’t care what his religious beliefs are. I don’t care what brought him to the point in opinion where the only right answer is that one-half of the population and their religious beliefs are wrong. More, I don’t care how one can ignore that all of the major religions of the world with hundreds to thousands of years of experience and history are suddenly wrong and by extension how billions of people should have dictated to them that thousands and (potentially) millions of people are more correct in such a short span of time.

What gets me is that he does the same thing that other’s do. He has attribute the speech of hate to those who oppose him. He might as well play from the Republican playbook (he is not a Republican) because his opinion and his approach mirror what the RNC have been doing for a lot of years. It mirrors what both sides of the abortion argument have been doing since 1973. His words mirror the negative arguments shot out by any piece of legislation or ammendment or anything else where the different sides are polar opposites.

Here’s what’s sad to me, neither this author nor I live in California. Granted, there may come a time when I have to decide whether to move to California as a result of the decisions being made by the people. This is an emotional argument. This is something that matters to a lot of people. This is both religious and political and even though we tend to try and tell people that we separate church from state, we don’t. Not sufficiently. And having billions of people be opposed to something that affects thousands of people directly and tell them they are wrong and apply the lexicon of hate to that group is, inherently, wrong.

As a result, do I care what happens in California? Yes. I hope proposition 8 passes. Why? Because the California Supreme Court created legislation and I don’t believe they have that right. Because the people in California have already said through a passed law that they want marriage to be defined as only between a man and a woman. Because I personally believe the object of marriage is offspring and if you cannot naturally produce offspring between the genders of both parties you negate the purpose of marriage. Because I believe that the LDS Proclamation to the World is revelation because I believe that there is a prophet who lives, who guides us, and who had the foresight to release the official statement of what marriage is more than a decade before this question came up. And I believe what is in that document.

Call me what you will. That’s fine. What I really am, though, is someone who realizes that the case in California is much larger than just the definition of marriage and someone who doesn’t care for the beliefs and opinions of a majority of people and who choose to call me something simply because they feel that they are more right than everyone else.

Real Heroes Fly