John Hattaway » Erin

Searching for a State of Equilibrium

smokingpen — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 00:07:48 +0000

I’ve found that some of the things I want to be doing compared to many of the things I need to be doing have kept me out of a state of equilibrium for some time. Months. I like the idea of writing blog entries and have noted that the number of hits I receive a month is directly proportional to the number of posts I publish. On top of which, my search rankings are lower when I don’t update as frequently. I would imagine, when I get to a state of popularity from publishing or some such that the direct outcome will be a lot of people intentionally searching for me and clicking through my website which will result in the ability to be lazier and still have traffic; however, at the moment, if I want traffic I have to do what is required to get that traffic.

Since I am not doing what is necessary I am writing about the why not.

In this case I find I have several things that sit, in some stage or another, on my metaphorical plate (I actually dislike the analogy). I have family, professional, educational, and obligations to self that all require a piece of my time. My family, and by that I am defining family as Erin and CAMPER, require individual attention and time. I cannot just assume that by spending time with CAMPER while Erin is in proximity that I have sufficiently spent time with her. As a result, I find myself making time for both my wife and child and making sure I spend time with them.

Along with family resposibilities I have work responsibilities. To some extent these overlap in that I am the provider and have to work to make money so that we can afford to pay bills and buy food. Previously to my current job I was working at Wal-Mart (formerly “this place“) on the graveyard shift. Because of that, I slept during the day, didn’t really care to be awake on the weekends though I chose to alter my sleeping habits to, again, spend time with my family. As a result of not being awake when Erin and CAMPER were, I looked for and found another position where I work during the day and can now sleep at night. This is better but at the same time I have to give away some of my day to a commute that equals about three hours of time. I am in a better position than I was with Wal-Mart, but still searching for a state of equilibrium.

Along with family and work I have responsibilities to my degree – specifically a Master’s of Fine Arts in Writing. This program requires me to spend quite a few hours a day writing and reading and revising and writing and revising and reading and etc. and etc. with the outcome. Granted, everything gets to be set aside in about twenty-five days for ten days where I will be nicely sequestered on an island at a Franciscan Retreat Center talking about writing. After the retreat and residency I will have to find time (that may not exist) to write and read and revise and make sure that my novel actually does get written and revised and made ready for publication.

Finally, I have responsibilities to myself. I think this is the least defined as I want to spend time with Erin and CAMPER and I want to go to school and I need to (and to some extent want to) go to work. Along with all of that I need to start taking care of my body so that my IBS doesn’t get worse. The doctor think Yoga and meditation will help and Erin is currently looking for a Yoga class on a Saturday that I can start attend and that we can afford.

The outcome to all of this is not that I don’t realize what is needed or wanted or necessary, but that I haven’t found the magic combination of time and management and energy that will allow me to find the state of equilibrium that will also allow me to spend a few minutes (or more) updating the blog and making sure I expand my readership rather than have people who get here from Erin’s website or by spending some time searching for something like Assateague Island or Roommate Etiquette or the White Screen of Death on my Macbook.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

Funky Experience

smokingpen — Mon, 04 May 2009 23:51:00 +0000

Because I work at night I sleep during the day. Generally, given what time I go to bed, I sleep all day and wake up about the point where the sun is going down. Someone might connect this with being a vampire – heck, the service manager for overnights makes that connection frequently, but the truth is, I work nights and have to sleep at some point which means I sleep during the day.

Today’s period of sleep was occupied by just that. This isn’t interesting or important. Everyone needs X hours of sleep and when you get less things start to slow down. Take Sunday night and Monday morning for instance. The amount of sleep I got was less than what I wanted or needed and as a result, I was dragging. Sure, the night went by relatively fast, but that was as much a result of doing work that should’ve been done by co-workers the two previous nights than because I was really awake and with it. Sunday nights and Monday mornings have that effect on me.

No, what is important in my sleep period is that I went to sleep and it was like I was somewhere else entirely. I can’t tell you where as I don’t really remember the dreaming or where I was or even what I was doing; but rather, when I was woken up I was so disoriented with being in bed and having Erin right there that I kind of freaked myself out. Seriously, I was somewhere else and then jerked back into reality. It was weird. If I was one of the Wachowski brothers I’d probably chalk this up to being inside of the Matrix and suddenly having the software program reset on me or something. Granted, I am no Mr. Anderson, nor Neo, but I a Mr. Hattaway and Smokingpen and so, maybe some variant on Morpheus or the computer interface is trying to share something with me.

Probably not.

I mean, we all need to sleep. Sleep is essential not only for proper brain activity but also so that our bodies produces the appropriate amount of hormones and chemicals and run all ship-shape. We have to sleep to remain sane. The list of things a lack of sleep or consistently not getting enough sleep can cause is pretty impressive, and disturbing, and calls into question the Wachowski brother’s sanity and the amount of sleep they collectively get. In short, sleep is necessary and I was getting it.

What I am actually sure of is that I hit an REM state of sleep, it was probably necessary and something I’d not really been in for an extended period of time in a couple or few days, and as a result all of the data my brain needed to filter through and move from short term and temporary memory into long term and stored memory had to take place. As a result of that and how our minds all work, I was magically transported off to some place I can’t remember and don’t recall and the mere act of being waked up caused me to freak out a little because I didn’t expect to open my eyes in bed in the office in the loft in the house we are currently living in.

I will stop there. I’ve rambled long enough.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

Flipped and Upside Down

smokingpen — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 00:15:48 +0000

My life seems to be upside down. As the world goes to sleep, I am awake and heading to work. The human body was not designed to be awake all night and to sleep all day. And yet, there are jobs, like stocking at “this place” that require all night work. I guess I can (once again) be grateful I am not having to work with customer at “this place” during normal hours. Though, I have to admit, sleeping during the day and being awake at night is proving to be a rather odd adjustment.

On one hand, Erin gets to see (and feel) what its like to have me unavailable during normal working hours. That is proving to be interesting. Especially since, if things get bad (theoretically) she can come and get me. Last weekend my sleeping patterns were adjusted for long naps in the daytime around trips and outings with wife and child. It was an interesting adjustment that get shunted back to long nights and short days.

What gets me is that people actually do this for years on end. I can’t really imagine that being the case, for me; but until I find something else or better I get to sleep days and work nights. Fun!

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

Things I should’ve done

smokingpen — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 19:16:33 +0000

Well, as anyone who is anyone should already know, Sunday was Erin’s birthday. I probably should’ve sat down and wrote something to commemorate it. I did tell everyone who decided that was the day to try and get us to be a bit more sociable that we were unavailable. We ended up going to church, coming home, and spending the day as a family. Which, I have to say, is very nice.

Since it was Erin’s birthday, we had to get her presents. She got a nice, brand-spankin’-new digital SLR. The Canon Digital Rebel XSi with a 12.1 megapixel image. That was cool. I was a little excited to give that to her and then let Camper sign the package. One would think that allowing an infant (less than five months old) hold a pen with archival ink in it is a bad idea, and I would absolutely agree it is a bad idea, but I wanted him to do something and holding the pen and then placing said pen against the package as he moved around was a nice addition. Erin kept the scrible and put it in a frame.

She also got a bag for the camer and a book on digital photography from her parents. All of this was nice and allowed her to move forward with her desire to take nicer and more complex pictures. Now we just have to wait for those pictures to show up. On the flipside of that, I also started a new banner for her website. It’s not done as I am a little (sometimes) on the lazy side and haven’t done the small detail work to make it finished and ready to be uploaded. However, the basic structure of her new website banner is together and in a couple of days she might have something new at the top of her website.

I think the point to this post, other than to point out my lack of updating for Erin’s birthday, is to wish her a happy birthday and hope for another great year of life, marriage, and love.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

Updates???

smokingpen — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 06:04:31 +0000

Erin and I are trying to pack a house and move. On top of which I am trying to study for a couple of finals and actually pass. As a result of that and the move it may be sometimes around the 24th or 25th of this month before I sit down and post anything. Then again, I could sit and post something before then. So, you never know. Though, as an adendum, I do intend to update on the trip to Las Vegas with Erin’s brother (complete with pictures maybe). Til then, have a good holiday season.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

Successful Day

smokingpen — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 08:43:02 +0000

I believe today, or now yesterday, was a rather successful day. I’d been studying for a world civ test, this is the second mid-term, the third test will be the final and that is offered only on Thursday December 18 at 5:00 p.m. What this means is that by 7:00 or 8:00 p.m. I will have completed the class and be done with finals and BYU. Since Erin and I were on campus so I could find some books for research on a project I am working on, and since we wanted to show codename: CAMPER off to some of the people I’ve worked with in the past, we were walking around, visiting, and talking about life in general.

“I wonder if I will feel relief when I am done and if this pressure will go away or if it is going to take time?”

“I think you will feel relief,” Erin said.

“Really?”

“Well, more than me. I had that one class and it just kind of fizzled.”

“Oh. Well, maybe I will sleep for, like, two days straight. Not really. I have to help take care of [codename: CAMPER]. But maybe it will feel like it.”

That was it. When I am done I may very well feel like I am done. This is a long time coming. There was a period of time where, quite honestly, I don’t think I ever expected to go back to college and get a degree. I was really just expecting that I would find a way to live my life and do little more. Now I will have one and go on for more. I find it amazing the changes that take place that allow for radical changes to take place in our lives.

What is really exciting to me is that I walked away from the test today actually feeling like I did well. I read through the questions. If they required a complex answer I outlined on scrap paper what I wanted to say, I went through all of the answers and did that. In some cases, I wrote the answer down on the scrap paper and then moved on. Nothing in the Blue Book until I was done outlining everything I needed to answer. And then, and only then, I moved forward and started writing. I almost filled the entire Blue Book. I’ve never done that.

The professor told the class that, traditionally, the class did overwhelmingly well on the first test, less well on the second, and slightly better on the third. I passed, but not well, the first test, I believe I rocked the second test, and I hope to REALLY rock the third test. Here’s me crossing my fingers.

As for the future job search, had some positive waves come in my direction this morning/afternoon when I received some emails that, first, gave me a bad time for referring to a wrong company; and second, indicated that my resume was getting in the right hands. Unfortunately, since having UMass Amherst tell me that all job searches were being suspended and that if and when they start the hiring process again they would contact me, I have felt a little bummed at the prospects and have been applying for things within a 40 mile radius of where we will be living. The outcome has been bupkiss since I’ve had no responses from anyone. That is pretty sad. However, things feel as though they might begin moving forward and that is pretty exciting too.

Anyway, that’s it for now.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

Wednesday Night at a Concert

smokingpen — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 19:30:50 +0000

I started writing a review of Kung Fu Panda the other day and didn’t get around to finishing it before Erin and I had to drop codename: CAMPER off at the neighbors so they could babysit him whilst we went to Salt Lake for The Hotel Cafe Tour to see Lenka in concert. Of course, she was performing with five other women (an all girl concert) all of them using the same band and my least favorite performer not using a band and kept talking about getting back to Hip-Hop while she “sampled” a lot of noise and played a violin and ukalele and made weird noises into her mics and mimicked movements that would’ve been appropriate for a male black rapper more than a very white bread priviliged girl. In fact, as I have started in on the criticism, the artists name was Emily Wells and lacked in almost every area. Interestingly enough, for me, she was new to the tour as of Denver, two nights ago, and didn’t really seem to fit in to any of the collaborations that were taking place. When I finally found her myspace page last night, late (CAMPER didn’t want to go to sleep and I was staying awake with Erin for a while), and even though she did not expressly state it, Emily Wells was raised in a somewhat affluent environment and even though she likes to experiment with sound by using odd instruments, failed in her attempts to be a hard-edged rocker chick in Hip-Hop, even though the rather stoned girls in front of us were moving and dancing in a way that wanted me to grab the worst offending by the neck and say, “You understand what beat is but you don’t know the first thing about appropriate dance movement for the kinds of songs that are being played,” and then scare the living hell out of them.

Regardless, the point of the night was to see Lenka perform. According to The Hotel Cafe tour website, each artist will perform a set of about 15 to 20 minutes each. As usual, in situations where I don’t instigate what is happening, I had no idea what to expect. Nor did I really think about the fact that the venue for the performance is a rather interesting building in Salt Lake City that has housed independent films, other-oriented films, and other venues for a lot of years, that the place would pretty much be a hole in the wall… or, essentially, a venue with wooden boxes for seats and cold. On top of which, I didn’t have any idea what to expect from the performers or how they would come out. I am not a big fan of concerts having been to (before last night) four concerts. This is not an environment I enjoy, though I often enjoy listening to music, the live aspect doesn’t really appeal to me. In fact, most music is really made for the studio experience and even though some artists (Sarah McLaclan being the stand-out in my mind) create an experience in a venue that is as close to the studio sound as possible, the point is that most music sucks live. On top of which, Erin and I really planned to only be out until about 10 p.m. since we have a baby and didn’t want to leave him, on a work and school night, with the neighbors any later than we needed to. So, we ended up driving up, sitting on a front row of the venue and then standing up with the crowd that was blocking out view of the performers, until about 9 p.m. when we decided to call the experience a wash and headed out.

Now, with all that said, I really actually enjoyed the music, though buying tickets for another one of these isn’t (probably) going to happen any time in the future. There were a couple of disconcerting events: First, the crowd was all ages. What that means is a group of sub-18-year-olds is in attendance. This was illustrated to Erin and I as they filed past us in gaggles to be as close to the stage as possible. Second, people lighting up and smoking controlled substances that also resulted in behavior that is, honestly, socially unacceptable (see above comments). On top of which, the venue was a dive and the artists, even though I am enjoying Lenka’s music and have enjoyed Rachel Yamagata’s music for several years, isn’t worth the hassle of the environment. And in truth, I enjoy the studio performance more than I enjoy the live performance (even though I like buying some artists live albums (again, Sarah McLachlan anyone???)) and prefer that over… oh, I don’t know, dealing with crowds of people who have their own sense of what is and is not appropriate.

What I did learn was that I liked music by Meiko (unfortunately, the nature of Meiko (and I hope Erin does write about this and if she does this will turn into a link) turns Erin off) and especially the song she played for the concert last night that she’d not recorded yet. At the same time, as I listened to Meiko, and I probably liked her music because of this connection, it occurred to me that I needed to contact a few people I know who teach at the different age group levels and see if we can distill down certain kinds of music different age groups are listening too. This is for a project that, when I finally can attack it, I can create a music list (or write lyrics along the lines of) the kinds of things that different age groups are actually listening too. Granted, the plans call for a fictional group that ties the music of the project into the mythology of the project; the point being that there is a sociological connection (and to some extent psychological) between what people choose to listen to and their life choices and by listening to Meiko I made a connection that requires some additional research on my part and questioning different age groups as to type, tone, and color of music. I didn’t buy any of her music last night.

We did get home and purchase The Hotel Cafe Tour – Winter Songs and Thao’s A Bag of Hammers. Speaking of Thao, of all the performers, and I didn’t really enjoy her, she was the most drunk, the most realistic, and the most punk or rock or real of all the performers. On top of which, none of her movements were large, they were all small and close to her body, but at the same time her movements were harsh and jerky and forceful and she is a performer. Erin liked A Bag of Hammers, and I have to admit of her songs that was the one that got me going as well, but her overall presentation was less than pleasing. And yet, the music… it’s all about the music.

Over all, and along with the conversation that didn’t include paying attention to the noises and crying of CAMPER, the night was good. Erin and I had the opportunity to discuss all sorts of things. We had the chance to be alone for a few hour and our neighbors were excited to take care of CAMPER for us. All-in-all me thinks a good night.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

Walking … After Midnight

smokingpen — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 22:06:10 +0000

Once upon a time I really enjoyed listening to Country music. Of course, that was before I went to a giant country music festival and sat, for an entire day and well into the evening, surrounded by people I probably wouldn’t associate with if I had free time and the desire to associate with people (it was the George Strait Country Music Festival) and as a result realized that the directions I imagined my life going, at the time, were not in line with the lifestyles I could clearly see around me and as a result of that I decided that country music, though tame (which was the reason I started listening to it in the first place) was no longer the kind of music that matched my interests and I (rather quickly) started listening to other things. Today, chances are better than even I am listening to Katy Perry, Natasha Bedingfield, Sarah McLachlan, or one of a few other artists that are mostly female, mostly pop, mostly NOT the pop-tarts out in the world, and mostly sing in a way that suggests angy and chick and music. Some people might suggest that this is a retraction of advancement in the complexity and taste in music; and I might not disagree with people, though, keeping in mind the reason I started listening to country music was because I started only hearing noise in the Alternative Music movement that was happening on the radio and very few artists seemed to create music back then that ecclipsed into actual music for me, the outcome is that I find musical tastes that are, in equal parts, whimsical, easy to listen to, non-offensive (to me), and ignorable. When country music stopped being many of those things, in part because I did not relate to people who lost their dogs, trucks, horses, wives, alcohol, and on and on, I stopped really listening to the genre of music regularly. Of course, I do have several CD’s from the artists I really enjoyed, Garth Brooks and George Strait are the two I recognize as still owning, and have considered purchasing the Darius Rucker’s country album (of Hootie and the Blowfish fame) because there is nothing more interesting than a black man singing in a predominantly white genre. That and I really liked listening to Hootie and the Blowfish back in the day.

With all of that out of the way, the title of the post is pulled from Patsy Cline’s, Walking After Midnight, of which Garth Brooks did a cover on his The Chase album, in which the protagonist of the song, in a fit of despair, goes walking late at night presumably to clear her or his head. The reason this is important is because it represents an element in creativity that, me thinks, is underwhelmingly ignored by a lot of people and that is the use of walking (and often late night) to clear the head and focus the mind on the task at hand. Believe it or not, this is a method that I have used in the past and have every expectation that I will use it in the future as well.

Last night I was awakened a lot earlier than I thought I would. Honestly, though, I went to bed and didn’t set an alarm (Tuesday/Thursday alarm time is 0800). Instead of getting up and going back to bed I got up and sent Erin to bed and then shut the doors between our bedroom and codename: CAMPER’s. Normally the only door that is shut is the one leading into our bedroom. The reason for this is because we want noise to travel between rooms and codename: CAMPER, when he cries, even with the monitor on, is hearable so long as both doors are open. Amazingly enough, when both doors are closed the kid can scream his head off and you do not (necessarily) hear it in our bedroom. Especially if you are asleep. I didn’t expect codename: CAMPER to start screaming, but then I also didn’t expect to be awake and needing to shelter Erin from additional cries and the maternal need to make sure he is okay.

I checked on codename: CAMPER, he was fine, looked at the twin bed that Lisa bought when she was in town, and the duvet on top of it, and then dived under the covers. This didn’t last all that long as codename: CAMPER complained about his pacifier falling out. The result of which was me getting up, putting it back in, batting away his little hands, watching as he fell asleep, and then going back to bed myself. The outcome was, honestly, a series of awake and asleep moments, the longest of which was about one hour, where he would complain and I would give him back the pacifier or would give it back, wait for him to stop suckling on it, take it away, wait for him to start fussing, give it back, wait for the suckling to stop, take it away, wait for the fussing, give it back, repeat until he stopped fussing and started sleeping. This was, as one might or might-not guess, was somewhat successful as I believe the longest periods of sleep came as a result of this, but even then it did not last in the tune of hours.

However, when I woke up and then tried to comfort Erin, and then tried to go back to sleep, then realized there was a reason I needed to be awake and made my way around the apartment looking for Erin, and then comforting and putting her to bed, I considered bundling codename: CAMPER up and doing one of two things:

One: go for a long walk and clear my head and focus; or,

Two: put codename: CAMPER in his car seat and drive somewhere.

Unfortunately, neither option was overwhelmingly ideal or desirable which is why I ended up jumping into bed, shutting doors, and trying to get as much sleep as a fussy baby who, we believe, may be hurting and, at the very least, suffering from a cold that can cause body aches and fussiness in adults and this is a baby who is almost six weeks old and as a result would be even more fussy given the body aches and struggle to breathe, and as a result I ended up, at times, hoping that the micro-naps I was catching would do what a sub-thirty-five minute nap during the day does, which is to trick the body into being more refreshed than it really was. By eight in the morning, codename: CAMPER decided to really scream, which Erin would’ve missed because it was separated by a couple of doors which in turn caused me to feed codename: CAMPER who ate insanely fast. In fact, Erin txt-ed me to let me know he ate that fast again a few hours later.

Before midnight, however, we did go out and ended up driving around the much-greater Orem area. We ended up on the other side of I-15 and into a subdivision that had roads built into it but no houses. In fact, I believe had the markets not started the successive crashes we would’ve seen a very different site last night than what we say (lots of empty lots), and instead, people realize that this is a bad time to start building because the cost of building exceeds the value of what is being built and as a result (this is called stickiness in case anyone cares) it doesn’t make sense to build if you can buy new, relatively new, or old for a lot less than it costs to have brand new built.

One of the pleasant side effects of having a new baby has been spending late nights driving around. This is an excuse, for me, to just go. Granted, I don’t always get to think about the cornucopia of things I would like to, or need to, or that just come when I used to drive for long, long hours all by myself or the only one awake and where those thoughts would take me on journies to places that I never really considered before getting behind the wheel. There is something, for me, about that journey (not the actual driving) that is only possible as a result of being able to focus in certain ways and allow the extra-gray matter to focus in a different direction.

With all of that said, Annie Dillard wrote Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, this is one of the premenent nature writing books on the market. It was published 34 years ago. It contains some completely fictional accounts and at the same time, represents a single cycle of seasons as Annie Dillard explores the area around where she is living in Virginia. What I realized the other day was that this is a form of the Hero’s Journey. In fact, the thought came to mind, “The Writer’s Journey,” which ended up being a book on my bookshelf. I didn’t want to focus on the elements of that book as Christopher Vogler is really simplifying the work of Joseph Campbell and his book Hero with a Thousand Faces. Instead, what I am focussing on is the idea that in order to create what she did, Dillard had to go on a quest much like the hero’s journey in order to come up with an effective narrative.

As a result of those connective thoughts and that many authors, the one I use as an example is Charles Dickens as well as Henry David Thoreau and others who then take their wanderings and observations and musings and in the process of all of that also go on a mythical quest where the outcome is, quite literally, a journey that brings the individual writer back a changed person. Whether that change is good or bad is not the question; but that the journey exists and change happens and as a result of both that the literary qualities of those changes are then transcribed into a meaningful work of some form.

Interestingly enough, it is through this walking process that I’ve come up with some of the focusses that I am planning to follow as a student and graduate student in the future. And it is through this process that I found myself thinking about Erin, a lot, and ending up marrying her. It is through the process that I discovered some of the writing focuses that exist (though, admittedly, at least one of them came into being as a result of a multi-day drive across the country that needed some form of outlet and is still being worked on). It is through this that I find personal focus and I feel better and I feel as though I can handle some of the things that, occasionally, I don’t honestly feel like I can handle. The process, of walking, and walking after midnight, is complex; and at the same time, I think I wouldn’t exchange the walks with anything else.

The outcome of my personal focusses in life is that I find connections with things that spark interesting chords, it is through this long-running process that I move forward with my semester and work and focus.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

Diaspora of Thoughts

smokingpen — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 00:47:43 +0000

According to this article Tony Hillerman died. Hillerman is the writer of a bunch of mystery books set on the Native American reservations. My parents really liked reading him, especially since they moved to southwestern Colorado near the Ute Reservation and working on the Navajo Reservation in Arizona with the LDS church. On the sad side, no more Hillerman. On the plus side, there is a very real possibility that his estate will be more willing to see his material used in movies, television, for republication and for other uses (as well as hiring writers to continue any books or series that Hillerman started and didn’t finish). That’s the sad part about people dying. Robert Jordan’s (pen name of James Oliver Rigney) widow has talked about the options on movies about The Wheel of Time series and the more real possibility of it becoming movies. Not guaranteed, but a more real possibility. Note that nothing happened with the Lord of the Rings, in a very real way, until after J.R.R. Tolkein’s death and until after his son Christopher started working with his dad’s material. Frank Herbert’s son Brian with a co-writer (Tolkein’s son also may have used a co-author) expanded on Frank Herbert’s vision of Dune. More than that, the estate of V.C. Andrews took her copious notes and had a ghost writer write novels in her name, posthumously, becoming one of the more proliferate horror and thriller writers on the planet.

I’ve decided that we, the people of the United States, should write a new Amendment to the Constitution that further defines the legal bounds of the courts. Specifically, to restrict the courts from legislating across the bench. The amendment should dictate that the court’s role is to determine the constitutional nature of a law and not to interpret the lack of constitutionality as a measure for then telling the people that if a law is unconstitutional then by definition the law that is unconstitutional must therefore be constitutional. As a result of changes in our laws enacted through the Supreme Court, supreme courts of the states, and various other federal and state courts, it is necessary to dictate what is and is not appropriate for the justices to do. Specifically, when groups decide that it is too hard to pass legislation they start lawsuits that are designed to change the laws through the courts. Rather, if a law is deemed unconstitutional it should be returned to the legislature for changes with notes on what can be changed.

On the positive side of stuff, Erin got a check in the mail today. This was unexpected and wasn’t very much money, probably enough to buy a couple of shirts. Since she started her blog she is a part of a network of bloggers called Blogher. This was exciting. It is far more money than I’ve ever seen for blogging. And I’ve been doing it for a lot longer. Since she’s a part of a network, this means Blogher will actually send people her way. And since she’s writing more about being a mommy and does so in a very open way, her blog has also been getting hit by people who are (literally) interested in the new mommy experience. Congrats Erin.

Which returns me to my parents who are in a place called Inscription House. They’ve been there for about a week. Have already taught some lessons. Sounds like a load of fun.

On the other side of things, neither Erin nor I have been to church in about five weeks… or is that six Sunday’s? Regardless, it’s interesting to note that between sleep and no sleep I’ve found myself (as has Erin) just trying to make it through the days let alone get to church. Our hometeachers showed up yesterday for a couple of seconds, on top of which I received a whole series of calls from a California number I didn’t recognize and didn’t feel like answering and since the individual calling did so relatively quickly after church and didn’t leave a message… well, I have spent more time on that than I intended to.

As for baby, codename: CAMPER (registration required) is doing well. We think he is not feeling well as he’s moved from sleeping and being a somewhat independent baby to needing lots of holding and cuddling. Erin is pretty convinced he’s not feeling well. Which very well may be the case, but he’s not been running a fever. On the sad part of everything, he’s also been a little stuffy which has also caused Erin to try to figure out ways to get the mucous out of his nose. There have been suggestions as well as my boycotting several of the more hair brained plans since she does not like boogers.

On a semi-related, but almost completely unrelated, topic… we are now in need of more Kleenex as we are nearly out around the house. I’m just saying. Get me blowing my nose eight-hundred-thousand-million times a day and then don’t supply me with the (comfortable) means of getting rid of the crusty hard boogers. Of course, I discovered one of those (very uncomfortable) in class today and then had to wait until I got out of class before I could go and try to remove it; and even then, it took a while because it was both hard and attached to the side of my nose up high. Gross.

Since today is Monday, and Monday means going back to school and completing a thousand different assignments (I have a one-page precis and a review of something cowboy like a book or movie and a reformatted journal into MLA, which seems weird to me since it’s a personal journal and was never announced as needing appropriate formatting) all due tomorrow. Which would’ve been nice to have remembered over the weekend… oh wait!!! I did and didn’t feel up to working on them over the weekend.

I did go to Locus Online as a result of being directed there by an interview on Ursula K. Le Guin and stumbled across the Links Portal that lists all sorts of science fiction publications for short fiction and links to websites and more. I can’t wait to go over what is there.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

Lack of Sleep… new babies

smokingpen — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 17:58:27 +0000

Well, I am working on a lack of sleep. I am also actually amazed that this lack of sleep is allowing me to plow through as much as I have been. Most of the lack comes as a response to Erin’s needs to sleep more since she does a lot of the heavy lifting when it comes to codename: CAMPER and his needs. Sure, I can help with the feedings, but there is just something about baby where he needs his mommy and as such, if I can move things forward to make sure that Erin is happy and content and feels like she can handle the situation, than I think the lack of sleep is okay.

I may need to rest a little today in preparation for a test tomorrow… and I definitely need to write some “notes” for one of my classes (essentially one page opinion papers); and I need to read more when it comes to a survey of the English Language; should study some; and have some serious cowboy reading that needs to take place.

Speaking of cowboys, I am in a cowboy literature class. We have gone on a series of field trips. The outcome of those (five) trips is pictures of the participants. If you are interested in seeing what the lense of the professor’s camera (and possible, soon, one of my classmates) than you can go to the website I set up for the class and pictures: http://cowboy.johnhattaway.com/. I am trying to figure out how to work around a Wordpress/PHP limitation on uploading sizes since I can’t seem to get a couple of 100mb+ files uploaded so that interested individuals can have all of the picture files without having to download pictures independently. One of the reasons I chose Wordpress as my (current) picture repository is because it has a gallery feature allows for full single file downloads without resizing or “crunching” the entire image. Plus, it is easier to use Wordpress than most of the online gallery software packages out there.

Moving along… and maybe heading off on a small non-sequitur… maybe a bit of a tangent… Erin and I were heading into the county building to register to vote yesterday. We had codename: CAMPER with us (since he is about four weeks old and isn’t being left with anybody, though Jim and Lisa did babysit for about an hour one night when they were still in town) and were walking into the building. As we crossed the street an older gentleman (retired, probably in his 70’s or 80’s) stopped us and said something to the effect of, “That’s the right person carrying the baby.” I was carrying the car carrier with baby inside. We stopped and spoke to him and he told us that he could see when a relationship between two individuals (husband and wife) by who carries what loads and in his observation we had to have a good relationship because I was carrying baby. He also said that when a relationship was going sour it was one person’s fault. I quickly said, “The baby’s.” He dropped it, but his implication was that it would be the husband’s fault. Truth told, any relationship that is going sour is going to have fault in both directions (husband and wife). It was still nice to have this man stop and tell us we were doing something right.

After we registered to vote (on, quite possibly, the very last day one can register to vote in Utah) I asked Erin if she was interested in going anywhere (we’d taked about a specific destination on the way to register to vote) and she said she wasn’t interested in going to her first choice anymore, and didn’t want to go home; so we did more of what I do with codename: CAMPER late at night when we are driving all over the place and we meandered through town, down into Springville, through some back streets and neighborhoods of Springville, and then up Hobble Creek Canyon. We actually made it into Uinta National Park before Erin said she was hungry and we drove back down into Springville to buy some food and then back up into the canyon to eat it, walk around (codename: CAMPER in a stroller), and then feed and change baby before heading back down canyon and back home. I found a pretty nice knife. I was going to take pictures of it and post them here, but I didn’t. And I probably won’t. With the outcome that I don’t have an outcome.

When we got home last night I watched parts of the final presidential debate between Obama and McCain. I was writing a post about it and about age and how theoretically age can play a distinct and important role in the candidate and as a result, realizing that too old and too young are both factors that are directly related to minimum experience and maximum experience with an insufficient amount of the former or an excessive amount of the latter indicating direct ability of the individual (and a cost analysis to potential employer and in this case the People of the United States) to not only capability but also adaptability, both being essential for job satisfaction and success, for the job and that McCain falls outside of the acceptable range of ages – and mostly because of his experience. In short, because McCain is older-n-dirt he will cost the American people more and we can determine this based off of experience, age, and choices (he makes).

Beyond all that, I was reading All the Pretty Horses for the cowboy literature class and, once I got past the first five or so pages, have really been enjoying the book. It is considered modern literature, which is a misnomer of sorts… essentially it is a popular book that is relatively difficult to read and requires a lot of attention paid to how the writer writes, that also doesn’t travel very quickly over a lot of pages. There are some rather distinct characteristics of a modern literary author, and I don’t personally think many of them will be recognized as such in twenty to fifty years, and most will be completely anonymous in one hundred years, with the outcome that I am enjoying the book and the story and find the details in the story (especially about horses and gentling or breaking) to be rather compelling and, from my limited research, accurate.

Regardless, this last semester is proving to be… interesting. Lots of reading. I knew that from the get-go. I’ve started to actively pursue some jobs. Hopefully there will be some positive glimmers on the horizon in the near future. All said, I am happy the semester is about over.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly