Lack of Belief

Sometimes I come across something and I say to myself, “I don’t believe that.” This happens somewhat frequently, actually, and in the end I am often proved right (if proven anything at all). My reasons for being wary of or not trusting someone are not always logical and they often seem odd at the time. The people I don’t like and/or trust don’t always make sense to me. And yet, I also have a tendency to follow those instincts. Of course, the times when I haven’t followed them I regretted it, a lot; and so, the outcome is that when I think or feel something is completely bogus and not bubbly making I tend to just not think about the individual. It’s not too hard.

And then there are instances where I find something that I am far enough removed about, and I think it is a complete frabrication, that proves to be far too interesting to just disregard. Take Hannah Upp as an example.

The thing about Hannah Upp is that she disappeared from home. Didn’t take any identification or her wallet. Showed up at a series of gyms she is a member of and talked her way into the gym to take a shower, though reports indicate that she didn’t change her clothes. And also showed up in a an Apple Store in Manhattan to check her email. Finally, she was seen near a ferry and ended up jumping overboard (presumably) before being rescued by ferry boat workers and taken to a hospital.

Since a manhunt had been going on, the police were interested. She declined to speak to them. The police and (presumably) the D.A.’s office decided not to pursue the case and that no further investigation needed to happen. Hannah Upp was allowed to go home and resume her life.

On Facebook, a few days ago, she announced that she was suffering from Dissociative Fugue. This is a disorder where, ostensibly, an individual forgets who they are or what they are doing and tend to run away. I would say that Hannah Upp has conveniently found a reason for her disappearing for a couple of weeks, but I don’t think it’s the real reason. In fact, I think that she is lying through her teeth and added that as a reason in Facebook more to assuage her family and friends and to give them a reason than as an actual reason.

Why do I think this is a convenient lie? Because it is. I have two beliefs when it comes to psychology or psychoanalysis. First, a psychologist or psychiatrist requires the honest and real participation of the patient in order to offer a good and complete diagnosis; and the psychologist or psychiatrist also requires an accurate and true understanding of the patients circumstances, family, and environment to properly understand a lying or uncooperative patient. The outcome is not that people always knowingly lie, but that they are self-interested and as a result are not always forthcoming. In fact, people lie because they either don’t want to share and feel it is necessary to protect something, or because they don’t feel that some information is pertinent to the diagnosis.

What I think is odd here is that Hannah Upp decided to use the exact diagnoses that allowed her to tell the public, “I can’t talk about what happened because I don’t remember what happened.” And she’s not going to be an honest participant in the process.

Here’s why I think she is lying: Hannah Upp is lying because she checked her email, went to the gym (to shower) and showed her face in places she was familiar with in order to check on things she was interested in and (for some reason) felt could not be left alone for a period of time and she jumped overboard from a ferry boat trying to elude being found.

The question (and, interestingly, the reason this interests me) is why does she feel like she needs to lie AND why she felt like she needed to disappear? The answer to the first, I think, is directly tied to the answer to the second. The answer to the second will, most likely, have something to do with choices in her life. Chances are, it has something to do with her teaching and, quite possibly, her students. At this point, I am only guessing and since I am guessing I would go so far as to say that Hannah Upp was running from something or running to something.

One of the things one gets to know about certain age groups is that for the 18 to 24 age group (emerging adulthood), this is the group that is the most malleable, the most easily swayed, the most likely to commit a crime and more. This is when kids start making decisions that have real and lasting consequences that can affect more than just themselves. This is when people join the military. When they can vote. When they go to college. And when they start working. In all of these areas, take someone between 18 and 24 and you can convince them to do things that, within their normal group of friends or even religious group, they normally wouldn’t do. Interestingly, religious constraints aren’t as large a factor as one might think.

So? What happened with Hannah Upp? Well, Hannah Upp knows and so does at least one other person. Was she in love and chasing after a boyfriend? Maybe. Was she in trouble and needed to run away from something she’d done or been a part of? Maybe.

The only thing she was not was suffering from Dissociative Fugue. Time may tell us what actually happened with her. I have a Google Alerts going just to let me know what changes. In the end, though, I think she will tell her family, eventually; and the world will never really know what happened.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly