Without any details, Erin and I went through a lot over the weekend. I am sure, as things calm down and we get a grasp on situations, there will be a lot to tell, more to share. However, at present, all I want to say (about most things) is that because our lives changed over the weekend we pulled back, avoided people (called our respective parents to let them in on the skinny), and proceeded to pull back, plan, and move forward.
With nothing actually said, today Erin had scheduled me a doctors appointment with an optometrist. I have agreed for months that I ought to see one if for no other reason than to renew the exact same prescription I’ve had since I was eight years old; but to tell Erin (or anyone else for that matter) that my eyesight hasn’t change because of the nature of the condition and not because of age or degeneration. I would imagine, as I grow older, and the cornea gets harder that I will need glasses more and more as I will be able to focus less and less; but the fact of the matter is:
I have astigmatism and my eyes are shaped weird.
The doctor confirmed this today. Said if I was 16 and trying to get a drivers license for the first time I wouldn’t have to worry about having glasses for driving; which doesn’t mean as a 34 year old I don’t, but at 34 I don’t drive the same way 16 year olds drive and I was able to see lists of letters and numbers that Erin, sitting right next to the board (minus glasses) couldn’t make out.
Erin’s reason (and coworkers and most people for that matter) for me to go to the doctor is I get tired and then I start squinting at everything. The doctor said this was probably eye strain. One of the reasons for eye strain is stress and after a long day of school, reading, and work my eyes are pretty stressed. On top of that (add to the number of problems) my tear ducts don’t produce enough tears. Apparently, most people produce 18 something-or-others, in Utah (because it is the second driest state in the Union) that production is a little less, and four me… 3 and 7 something-or-others depending on which eye we are talking about.
Answers a lot of questions.
The way they test tear production is to stick small pieces of paper in the eyes and have you keep them closed for 5 minutes. They numb the eyes first, and then stick these slips in, and then walk away. I could feel the pieces of paper on the eyes, which, apparently, the autonomous system in the body will recognize and produce more tears. The key, here, is to NOT feet the slips of paper; and then to have your eyes produce tears normally. I could feel and I still didn’t produce enough tears.
According to the doctor, this is a bad thing as part of the focus mechanism of the eye is through the moisture in the eye. The less one blinks, the more one stares at a computer screen or book, the fewer tears are produced and vision changes.
These are not good things. In fact, it affects how well (throughout any given night) I see what is right before me. Have an extremely stressful night/weekend/etc. and I will see very different than if I were very calm and collected.
On top of that, he asked questions like: How much water do you drink in a day? How much sleep do you get at night?
Answers: I drink four to six liters of water a day; and I get about 10 hours of sleep a night.
Guess what? That’s not a part of the problem.
On top of which, large caffeine intake can affect eyesight. Who knew? It affects the production of tears and, in turn, causes other issues with the eyes. Since I am not a large consumer of caffeine, that is not a problem either.
The outcome, I could use glasses for “quality of life” but I don’t need them. He wrote a prescription for the astigmatism and then sent us to check out glasses in the store shop. They were not really within the price range of a couple looking for glasses for a husband who might, or might not, wear them and se we went to the mall.
At the mall (we saw this Saturday night, actually) we noticed they were filming a movie. Apparently, the movie is called American Mall where the action was taking place in a guitar store. On Saturday night there were signs all over the place declaring:
This is not an actual store.
And…
Movie set.
We watched as some kids walked back and forth out of the Standard Optical we were shopping in, Erin and I, and watched as they stopped foot traffic, called the extras to be ready, and then yelled “Action!” as we shopped for a pair of glasses for me. Eventually, we decided on a pair, paid for them, and now get to wait a week for something that I should be using and wonder (inside) whether or not I will as often as I should.
Again, reading glasses people.
Erin did point out something important (in there). That was that the only real outcome in my life is going to be nose in books as my goals (and desire) is to write, as well as staring at computer screens and continuing with advanced degree stuff when I am done with the undergrad. So, as I need to be able to comfortably read what is placed in front of me; I also need to be comfortable with what I am doing.
To couple that with an existing problem: we learned this weekend (well, I was reminded and don’t know how I forgot this) that it takes at least three years once you’ve started controlling Celiac Disease for your body to properly and adequately absorb nutrients. I started controlling Celiac Disease about two years ago which means I have another year before the celia in the small intestine grows back sufficiently (and works sufficiently) to allow me to function at levels before the onset of Celiac Disease. That was an interesting thing to learn/relearn, that even though I am eating right and doing what I am supposed to be doing, my body is still healing and it takes years to do that.
The real outcome is that being married has a tendency to show you what it is you need to fix so that you don’t continue to get worse or wonder why you’ve made changes in your life and nothing is actually changing. The process is slow. The outcome is long-lasting.
In this case, my eyesight is important. It is one way of doing some of the things I need to do. Sitting in the optometrists office with my eyes closed (I am light sensitive when they are not dilated, and they hurt when they were dilated, and they still kind of hurt now) I had to trust that Erin was watching out for me, listened for her movement and realized I had no clue, half the time, what she was doing. Apparently, having the little slips of paper sticking out of my eyes was a bit disturbing to Erin… but it happens.
The doctor, at one point, did say, “I don’t want to get between you and your wife, but…” and then proceeded to describe some things. Which was actually pretty cool.
Anyway, that is the excitement of the day. Wish I could share more, but more will have to wait until Erin and I are ready to discuss our weekend, past. Actually, Erin will have to start the discussion on her site and I will pick up the noise at that point.
John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West
Real Heroes Fly