So, I was offered a job yesterday at about the point I felt that I couldn’t go to work one more day and continue working for the company I’ve spent the last 9 or so months working for. Its not that I dislike the company, I just felt that the time was right to decide to quit. When I voiced that desire to Erin, and she supported it, I received an email offering my a job on campus.

This actually started a lot of consternation last night. There were a couple of reasons for the consternation: First, I had an interview today that I thought might prove to turn into something; Second, I wasn’t sure that I absolutely wanted to work where I was offered a job. I do want the job, but I didn’t want to leap into something without knowing what I was leaping into.

Anyway, I stopped myself from responding to the email with anything and went to work.

At work, I was called into my managers office and he started reviewing my work habits for the last few weeks. We have been slammed (at work) for weeks now in part because the owners decided to take an aggressive approach to getting new customers and, as a result, had a 22% increase over the existing customer base of (approximately) 400,000. I don’t feel like doing the math; but the outcome has been an enormous increase in the number of calls received because most of the calls come from brand new customers.

This is a company who relies (mostly) upon customers who become established and never call.

On top of that, the admins at the company decided to start a series of pretty big upgrades on all of the servers. There are several hundred servers and on any given day, many of those are being upgraded with all of the issues and problems that become associated with any change in software.

Anyway, four weeks ago this all started and the job became much more stressful. Four weeks ago I started to go down the road of classes, school (well, three weeks… but four weeks ago I could see the changes coming), and as a result my mind has been quite preoccupied and (unfortunately) studying and homework (and Spanish) has proved to become a secondary priority.

As school became more of a reality and the need to study, learn, and memorize (esp. Spanish) I’ve seen an internal struggle going on to be honest at work and to study and do what I need to do to get the grades I want.

On top of that Erin lost her job and, for a period of time, I could feel the weight of responsibility shift from her shoulders back on to mind – especially when pregnancy became one of our many realities. The outcome, for a period of time, was literally praying and hoping for some relief from the stress of this semester. I did not do as well last semester (in part) because I had to work more and regardless of need in other places my body still requires a lot more sleep than other people.

One of our goals, for a while now, has been to start going to be earlier at night. Currently, we go to bed a lot closer to midnight (esp. since I get done at work (this semester) at 10 and last semester at 11 p.m.) Midnight is not a great time for us to be thinking about going to bed when Erin has to get up to go to work and I need to get up to go to school, study groups (not my idea), and etc.

Anyway, the process I was going through last night would be non-reversible. As nice as it seems for someone to be “needed” within a company, I am not Steve Jobs nor do I run Apple and have the ability to make a massive turn-around of a company. Sure, yes, I understand that I have ideas and abilities that allow me to make changes if put in the right position; but as I am not interested in working for a call center that refuses to admit it is a call center, and as the company has (frequently) told me I would be moved and then not done it… I don’t believe that I offer anything to this company that they want and feel they need.

So, I was sitting in my bosses office and discovered that I had not done (nearly) as well as I needed to. He wasn’t talking to me to say, “We don’t need you anymore,” as the amount of work I have done (in the past) is still a benefit to the company. He was telling me that I needed to get to the point where I was doing more.

I sat there. I realized that the time had come. I had to choose. I had to decide right then what I was going to do. What was important to me? I could take the job on campus and focus on my schooling or I could stay at the company and not move in any direction. They were not going to promote me, they were not going to move me to an area I am better situated… more and more, all I heard was promises with no proof I would advance.

Anyway, I finally said, “I need to tell you something,” and then proceeded to tell my manager that I needed to quit. I explained my reasoning and that I needed to focus on my education and that work was getting in the way of my time working on school and time with my wife.

At that point, I knew what I needed to do. I needed to reply to the email I got, tell my new boss that I would begin working for him and that I would meet in him Friday morning and then do what I had to do today (the interview).

You know, what gets me is that I have been so conditioned to interview as though I want every job I apply for and interview for to be one that I am offered. I want to walk away from an interview knowing that they want me even if I don’t want the job. This is not to say that, as I sat there, the job didn’t appeal to me on a variety of levels; but more along the lines that I just didn’t want to have to think about what they were doing.

What came out of my mouth was, “Yes, I would be interested in this job,” at the end of the interview when I was thinking, “Actually, I am less interested in what you are offering now than I thought I would be and, “No,” please don’t call me… pick someone who fits what you need better than me.”

My telling a potential employer (esp. at BYU) that they should seriously consider another potential employee over me is not uncommon… and yet, I couldn’t and didn’t say that. I was pleasant, I spoke as though I wanted the job, I gave them answers that would cause them to sincerely bring me back for a second interview, and I thought, “I am happy I will be working for this other department,” when they told me their time frame on interviews and when they planned to start making a decision (two more weeks).

The thing that got me was that when I told my manager what I would be doing everything cleared up for me. I asked, expecting to give a one week notice, “What would you like me to do?”

He said, “Can you give me a week?”

I said, “Yes.”

He said, “Okay, the new employees come out on the floor on Wednesday.”

What all of this means, since I don’t work on Tuesday’s, Monday is my last day of work.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

Well, I didn’t update last night. Glaringly obvious. However, I am sure if I think about it long enough I can come up with some excuses to explain away my not updating.

For example, when I got home (from school) Erin was already there and lying on the sofa. Which is interesting as our collective agreement (unless you are sick and can’t feel anything anyway) is that is not the most comfortable place to lay prone. However, it appeared that work (which is going well) drained her of all energy – which might also be a byproduct of a pregnancy… anyway, when I got home she wanted to know when we needed to leave to get to an appointment we’d set up for that night.

I thought 30 minutes was more than enough time to drive from Provo to Springville and places south and I was wrong.

We left. I drove. We went to the Interstate, me thinking, “Direct route is the best route,” and spent the entire time driving behind cars that (I would expect) drove painfully slow.

In their defense, it was snowing, the roads were covered, and Erin didn’t want me to drive very quickly anyway. Something about fishtailing or something or other and feeling nauseous and being pregnant or something.

Actually, I do know exactly what was said… and I do know that I changed my driving habits to allow Erin a bit more comfort while charging around in the snow.

Anyway, the outcome wasn’t so much the adventure, bur realizing that the place we went to look at didn’t meet our needs. Oh, sure, it met all of our needs, but as we discussed impressions and what we experienced while doing a walk-through, neither of us felt comfortable. The outcome, we thanked them for showing us the apartment, Erin picked up an application, and then we drove home.

So, to take a step back, we are starting the process of finding some place new to live. We are of the opinion that we need extra space for an extra body and all the things that accompany an extra body. That proves to be interesting, as well… the things that accompany midgets. Though, on the flipside of that, I am not really certain what all accompanies midgets; just that they have additional things like “changing stations” and “diapers” and “socks” that never stay on and lots of other things.

As a result, you don’t combine midgets with offices. Especially when considering that I have a tendency to spend late nights in the office when I am not able to sleep (happened once this week already).

The outcome is over the next several months we will start looking for a new place to live. We are looking for something along the 3-bedroom range. A place for Erin and me, a place for baby and midget things, and a place for an office. This should be a lot of fun, if’n you ask me.

Regardless, changes are in the air. They just FEEL like it. In the air.

On top of that, I announced last week that all of the jobs had been offered to other people, started a new round of applications and interviews, and was offered a new job today. That was exciting, for me, even though this is a serious (financial) move backward. Regardless, Erin is working full-time (for now) and I know that whatever else is going down we will probably be fine.

As a result of the many changes in our lives, I have turned in my notice to quit my job and have accepted a new position on campus. Essentially, I will be editing, changing, and testing webpages for the School of Education.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

Well, bad news first… I failed my Spanish test today. It was sad. I need to attack this whole “learning a language” thing from a different angle. This is not making me happy. Or, this is not making me VERY happy. However, with Erin and some concerted effort, I know I can still pull this pig out.

Yeah, pig.

Anyway, I now have my new glasses. It’s interesting to look at the computer screen slash world from behind pieces of carbon-something-or-other. Yes, carbon based, not plastic, not glass, carbon. The cost of the lenses cost more than the cost of the frames… and we still came in at just over $100.00. Could’ve spent more, but given the distortion I see at the edges, the fact that these things are giving me a headache, and because I know I should (probably) use them for reading and working on computers… I am not exactly ecstatic about wearing them all the time.

On top of that, we discovered my eyes don’t produce tears… so, off and on, I’ve been using Systane eye drops in my eyes. They promise “long lasting relief” and “dry eye therapy” which is interesting, though not sure how much I believe it. I mean, I have a perpetual issue with dry eyes and as a result know (in advance) that this is going to take some training to get me in the process of using eye drops.

One of the things that keeps coming back to mind is the fact that eye drops can actually cause the eyes to stop the production of tears. This is the reason (knowing my eyes get dry and start to strain) I’ve not used them a lot over the years. This is also probably the reason that I suffer from severe allergies in my eyes… no tears to wash out pollen and etc.

So, I have to train myself to use eye drops when I start to feel them being dry and working harder than they need to be.

AND I need to train myself to use the glasses when I am working on various things and when I am reading.

Two things I am averse too.

I am not getting younger.

I can do this.

Anyway, the really frustrating thing about the glasses (even though they might be helping) is the distortion around the edges of my vision and the fact that I can “see” the frame of the glasses. Sure, they look good… but isn’t there more to wearing glasses and being able to read comfortably than wearing glasses.

And, no, lasik surgery isn’t an option for my condition as my eyesight is just slightly tweaked.

On the flipside of all that, and not at all related, I did get some Latino music from Erin last night to add to my iTunes and iPod. That was cool. She started telling me about different musicians and music that fell within certain pre-defined categories. When I asked Chris, a la profesor, about specific kinds of music I would enjoy (and no I am not going to share the KINDS of music I enjoy) he rattled off a similar list to what Erin shared with me last night… and said he didn’t really know a lot about what is out there in the genres but that he thought what Erin had said was a good start.

Too bad I don’t know any…

Hah! You thought I was going to give it away.

Anyway, I did go through classes today. When I got to school the weather was almost down-right balmy. According to our neighbor, the temperature had gotten up into the lower 40’s which felt good. Especially since Weather.com (last night) was saying we would get rain (overnight) turning into snow and then 3 – 5 inches of accumulation. Erin and I live on a bench and as a result, if there is accumulation we feel it… big time.

There was no accumulation over night.

However, after the Spanish test, and as I walked over to the bookstore, walked in, spent two minutes, and then walked back out the weather had gone from palatable to freezing with strong winds and little ice spheres (people kept yelling, “hail,” though it was not hail) that caused me to have to zip up and then scrunch down into my jacket and keep my head down as I walked around the library and back to the humanities building.

Talk about fun.

After classes, and with the snow still coming down, the sidewalks very slick with ice, I made my way to the administration building to tell a couple of the secretaries over there (that I had worked with my first year at BYU) that Erin is pregnant and then chatted with both of them for a while (trying to avoid going home).

Then I had to go to the mall to pick up my glasses. I know I’ve complained about drivers doing stupid things, but I have to tell you, some people are just too stupid to be allowed to drive. For example, I watched a pick-up truck wait to turn right at a light (he had a red light) and then turned right just in front of a car that was traveling at approximately 45 mph on icy roads only to drive halfway in the lane and halfway on the medium throwing up tons of slush and snow into the window of the car in front of me.

It does not matter if your vehicle is 4WD. You do not have the right to be that stupid.

At the mall, however, I got to see that they were still filming The American Mall, an MTV production. Got to see some of the actors just lounging around. They decided to stare at me as I walked out of the mall. It was interesting. Didn’t really care for who or what I was seeing… so… you know… the production was setting up a shot in a feux toy shop on the other side of where they have been shooting. Makes for good times.

On a similar (but still unrelated) note, I kind of want to do a play. Don’t know what play, though I did see a casting call for a WWII play about a bunch of people helping a dying soldier learn about friendship. Rehearsals are Tuesday/Thursday nights and Saturday mornings. Not sure I am up for this… not sure that Erin would be up for me to do something like that; but the bug is kind of there.

Oh, I did get two emails asking me for interviews this week. One for a web-developer position and the other for a project management position (both on campus). I know the former is tomorrow at 2:30 and the latter will probably be on Thursday at 11:00 a.m.-ish.

Since we are not worried about Erin (at the moment) and her job status, I am thinking we can move forward with finding me something that is more “study with Erin” friendly.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

President Gordon B. Hinckley became prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the April conference of 1995. I know this because that was the last general church conference I was serving as a missionary for the LDS church. At that time, I prayed about whether or not this man was meant to be the leader of my church. The feelings I got at the time were positive feelings.

This was one (of many) instances where I learned, from firsthand experience, that God does answer prayers.

As a young man I watched as President Benson dedicated to Dallas Texas Temple. I am told by people that were there (not necessarily my parents) that President Hinckley stopped, came back to me, and spoke to me. At the time I was probably no more than 12 years old.

Over the years, from a distance, I have watched and been very impressed with President Hinckley, the way he’s presented himself and information, and wanted to emulate this man. I think he is one of the few people in my life (the list is extremely short) that I have admired and actually wanted to meet. Some time ago I came to realization that I would (probably) not have that as an opportunity during his lifetime.

So, to hear, last night, that he passed away at home with his family around him came as a bit of a shock. Unexpectedly, my mother called and told me that I should be watching TV. Immediately (because I was in a different room) I told Erin to put the TV on Channel 5 (in truth, the church owns the NBC affiliate in this area, which also happens to be Channel 5) and we watched as the various anchors and reporters spoke about his death, about his life, and about their experiences with him.

After a while, after the reporters on scene kept saying, “No, there is no one gathering here,” did we get tired of waiting for a scene (which is NOT news) and went back to doing what we were doing.

Regardless, it was very sad to learn that President Hinckley passed away. And I am glad that at 97 he was finally able to return home and be with his wife again.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

I don’t really care for our current president.

I also don’t really care for people who are appologists for the oil industry.

I especially don’t care for people who want me to believe that greater profit margins denote a more successful company.

What does all of this have to do with each other?

Well, G.W. is in oil’s back pocket. Not literally, he can’t be as a sitting president of the United States. However, his background (before becoming governor of Texas) was in oil. He wasn’t very good at the job and took something in the public sector by running for governor and then President.

This does not stop him from being related to or responsible for the extreme inflation we’ve experienced when it comes to oil.

Oil affects other things, food prices, harvesting, transportation. All of this affects cost of living.

Moreover, instead of allowing the economy to actually reset (the affect of a recession) G.W. has pushed through economic stimulus packages that, ultimately, will hurt the country.

Instead of allowing the housing market to reset (again, severe and unchecked inflation over a long period of time) he has supported and introduced legislation that is designed to help sub-prime (and eventually prime) lenders out of the hole they’ve dug themselves into.

You cannot expect people who make less than I do a year to be able to afford a mortgage over 15, 30, or more years. The real problem with the housing market was as the market (and mortgage lenders) began adapting to the rapidly rising prices. Some of these (wise) adaptations are interest only payments on loans for three to five years; 40 year mortgages; and etc.

The outcome is that as the interest changes (this affects people with variable interest rate loans) then the mortgage also increases. Essentially, you are paying interest first and then principal. The interest will kill you.

Moreover, the longer the loan period, the more interest you will pay over the life of the loan; and for many people, having a variable interest rate loan will affect standard and cost of living.

Why does any of this matter?

Well, it matters because if it costs more to live in the United States and the average wage per worker has not increased to match inflation, than people are living on less money. This extends many people (trying to maintain a standard of living) to borrow against credit or value on a home (the latter becomes a second mortgage dressed in pretty clothing), which further drops them into a pit that becomes increasingly hard to dig out of.

Housing is too expensive.

Gas is too expensive.

Buying cars (especially American made cars) is too expensive.

The outcome is not that we are living in a golden era in our history or economy, but rather that we are living in a very bleak and dark period in the economy.

What G.W. is responsible for is the inflation as related to gas prices. Gas does influence other things. As the oil companies make more money this extends into other industries that are want to compete in profits with the oil companies.

The owner of the company I work for wrote an entry in his blog (a while ago) telling the world that they shouldn’t lament the oil companies their profits. Profits and profit margins are good things. For the oil companies those margins range from 6 – 9%. The problem with big oil is that they are pulling down multi-billion dollar profits per quarter.

Look at it this:

1,000,000 – one million
1,000,000,000 – one billion

That is three more zeroes. Counting 1 million dollars is pretty hard to do. Counting 1 billion dollars (dollar by dollar) is impossible for anyone. You would spend the rest of your life doing it and not even make a significant dent.

Now, consider, that the oil companies make 10 billion dollars (in profits) per quarter. That is every three months. Which means that yearly profits (profits is money after all bills, investments, and expenses are paid for) are around 40 billion dollars.

40,000,000 – forty million
40,000,000,000 – forty billion

Now consider that 40,000,000,000 should be 6 – 9% of overall income should be somewhere around 424,000,000,000.

If:

1,000,000 – one million
1,000,000,000 – one billion
1,000,000,000,000 – one trillion

That is revenue stream.

The owner of this company stated that if he had a 6 – 9% profit margin this business would not be worth running to him. He is very empassioned about that number. And yet, I have heard (two to four months ago) that the monthly revenue stream for the company is three million dollars. A 6 – 9% profit margin equates to $180,000 – $270,000 per month.

Again, profit is proceeds over expenses. With this company you might also have to assume that the owner(s) do not consider salary and wages as something that can be derived out of company expenses and is deductible from profits; but still… the owners are making a lot of money a month. At the low end ($180,000) that equates to $720,000 a quarter and $2,160,000 a year.

Since this company has an ownership hierarchy I know that the main owner posses more than 50% of the company, his principle partner divides the rest of the company between other individuals with the lowest ranking owner of the company having 10% of the company. And yet, a 6 – 9% profit margin for this company with a multi-million dollar a month revenue stream isn’t enough for him (owner) to maintain the company.

However, slim profit margins are one way of improving efficiencies and processes. If the owner of this company wants to make more money than he has to trim costs to increase profits, he has to make sure that work is handled in the most efficient manner possible, and he has to make sure that people can receive help in a variety of ways.

In the support world, you can expect that 10% of your customer base is going to use the support system. With a customer base of 400,000 you can expect that 40,000 customers are going to call into the support center. Divide that 40,000 over 12 months and every month you get 3333 customer calling in a month and 111 customers calling a day.

We average about 2000 calls a day.

So, to reverse those numbers, 720,000 customers call in per year. We have a customer base of 400,000. Essentially the company is getting 1.8 times as many calls as we have customers, currently. Or that every customer we have calls 1.8 times in a year. I know that’s not true as most customers never call.

What is wrong with this picture?

I also happen to know in an environment where support is essential as part of the business model, the support costs often exceed all other costs within the company. In essence, support becomes the ugly step-child of a corporation. In this company, the employee base of the company is support.

Now, go back to oil. If oil wants to make more money they need to improve processes and efficiencies. According to the owner, we have moved backward with the number of refineries that exist in the U.S. What this means is that we increases costs to transport fuel from existing refineries to the gas pump. Further, we rely upon foreign oil resources and reserves to feed our national thirst for oil. As a result, instead of tapping into resources in the U.S.

Rather than improve the way in which oil is produced, distributed, or acquired, we, as a nation, pay more at the pump for gas. As a result, the CEO of the nation, the man who worked for these oil companies, the one who can negotiate treaties and insist upon lower pump prices has chosen to do nothing. He is doing nothing. The only time he has done something was to a) support his bid for re-election and b) support his party during mid-term elections. Otherwise, we pay around $3.00/gallon for gas.

Now, I don’t care so much about gas prices. I don’t really care that I pay around $3.00/gallon at the pump. Yeah, as a full-time student it hurts. As a person who likes to drive (and most of my dating with Erin was driving around), who’s first “adult” job was driving semis and who thinks that going for a drive is a fun activity, high gas prices cause me to not go on long drives – but that doesn’t bother me so much as Erin is not big into long, long, long drives.

I am happy to drive for hours in one direction, sleep, turn around, and come back.

What higher gas prices, two major recessions (and granted the housing recession hasn’t really hit major status, but it will) the need for Congress to intervene and give tax refunds to try and stimulate the economy, and a crash to a major industrial sector of our economy do reflect poorly on this president. Instead of being known for the man who stood up and led well after 9/11, he will be the man who hurt the economy, presided over two different recessions, caused inflation and gas prices to be raised, and led the United States into an unnecessary war in Iraq.

The real outcome, though, is that people who expect to see higher rates of return for investment (stocks over a lifetime have an average rate of return of 8% regardless of class of investment) are deluding themselves. People who claim that the oil industry deserves $40 billion profits a year are insane. People who assume that companies deserve to make a killing on customers are insane. And people who assume that G.W. is not culpable for what has happened during the almost 8 years of his presidency are (at best) deluded and at worst insane.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

Well, as you might already know, Erin was fired from her job about a week ago. On the same day she was fired (for rather poor reasons) we discovered that she is also pregnant.

This news is being shared because Erin wants to talk to different people about it. People who might be able to commiserate with her in the whole body changing, hormones racing, gotta pee all the time kind of way. There are actually very specific people she has in mind. However, if you want to know who those people are (or if you think you are one of those people) then you will have to speak or email her.

We anticipate that baby Hattaway will show up around the end of September or early October according to the many different due date calculators that are available online. Erin has her first OB doctors appointment on February 11th.

I didn’t want to share until it was possible to hear the babies heartbeat through the Doppler system (which is between 10 and 12 weeks); however, after a very long (and sometimes emotional) conversation with Erin last night, we determined that there was a short list (much longer for me than for her) of people that needed to be called and told before we moved forward with making this known to the world.

The first person was called at 11 this morning.

Please note, though, that our respective parents have known for about a week. On my hierarchy of people (outside of Erin and I) that need to know changes in our lives, the parents are at the top of the list.

Outside of immediate family members, and since this is my medium of informing people of changes and updates in my life (and throw in some very close friends), I am now posting that Erin is pregnant. We are expecting a bouncing baby something-or-other. And we are looking forward to the challenges the next year will bring as we plan and prepare for a liebchen to enter our lives.

What this really means is that Erin will want to have serious conversations about possible names for said life growing inside of her. Until now, I have been able to avoid or play around with these conversations. You can tell I am tired of these conversations when I drop into Skunkweed, Rhododendron, and Gladiolas as potential names for any future children. Skunkweed is a boy’s name. At least I am not suggesting Crabpaper or Mouse-whiskers – of course, those names are reserved for other purposes so… who knows, maybe they need to be repurposed.

Jordan did tell me:

”Jordan is a great name. You can use it for boys and girls (emphasis mine).”

Anyway, we are very excited. Very scared. And have gone through some interesting dips into personal hells this week as we were trying to figure out insurance and as Erin has worked on finding employment.

However, even with the bad news of last weekend it was coupled with good and positive news. So… you know… into each life a little rain must fall.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

Jordan, me thinks, hasn’t been happy with the mentions he’s received (from me) on this blog. So, he scooted over since we work at the same place and he sits, quite literally, behind me and said, “I think you should write that I interrupted your writing a blog entry and then write about this conversation.”

The conversation:

Jordan: Am I in your blog?

Me: No.

Jordan: Why not?

Me: Because I am not writing about you.

Jordan: But you can.

Me: I don’t think so.

Jordan: Why not?

Me: Because I am writing about something else.

Jordan: I think you should write up this conversations.

Me: I don’t think so.

Yeah, it’s like he’s my youngest brother or something. At this point you go back to the top and then I roll over to his desk to stare at a screen where he is trying (very hard… or not at all – I don’t know which) to troubleshoot why some yahoo can’t access their database through some script-slash-software I’ve never seen or heard of before.

We dropped the password and access was granted.

He spoke to the customer for several more minutes.

I am a hero.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

Real Heroes Fly

Well, after Erin went and spent time with one of her ex-mission companions she (and said companion) went to Wal-Mart – or the dictator of evil, before Erin dropped her off at the family she is staying with (the companion was flying home to Denmark today and wanted some candy to take to her friends in Denmark) where she (Erin) picked up the tools I need to finish fixing the brand new elliptical trainer we’d just gotten.

After I had it back together I had to take it apart again to adjust the belt that connects the major wheel to the resistance wheel. That was fun. Tiring. However, the elliptical trainer was fixed, adjusted, and working.

So much so that I got up this morning and worked out on it.

That was the good news.

The bad news is twofold: first, my head scrapes the ceiling as our ceilings are not designed for an elliptical trainer with someone of my height; and second, after ten minutes I felt like I’d run several miles.

Granted, I’d not been on one of these things in a while, and with winter (and lots of snow) I haven’t been getting out and doing things for a while. Which all equals me being lazy and not able to maintain a pace for 30 minutes. That will come – oh yes it will.

Anyway, that caused me to jump into the shower and then dress and then go to school. School this semester is proving to be interesting and confusing all at the same time. That was true a couple of semesters ago, Winter 2007… but I am not really sure what is causing this… ambivalence. Well, not ambivalence. I was preoccupied with other things that semester and to say I am not occupied in many different areas would be a lie; however, I am pretty dedicated to school and class and stuff and the result is that I am interested in discovering what happens.

With all that said, I do have some catch-up reading to do. I’ve decided that one of the approaches to Spanish is going to be memorizing aspects of the lessons. There are dialogues that (in our only verbal test with the teacher) will come back and haunt me. Plus, going back to what he said the other week, learning phrases and memorizing them will eventually turn into my understanding what I am saying and how it fits together.

Who knows? This class is, at times, both confusing and exciting to me. And frustrating too.

Anyway, in New Testament today the professor started talking about the different aspects of a person’s life. I am sure I should pull back from talking about this for personal reasons, but… I am plowing ahead anyway.

There are three aspects, he called them spheres.

First sphere: Public. This is what you show the rest of the world. For members of the LDS faith, wearing a CTR ring as a means of showing that you are a good member of the church is one aspect of the public sphere.

Second sphere: Private. Professor defined this as family. This is what you do within the confines of your home and that are reserved for the people closest to you.

Third sphere: Personal. This is your thoughts and actions that can be hidden from everyone, to include family.

The objective of early Christianity, theoretically, was to combine all of these areas of life so that they overlapped as much as possible. That way, when you are out among people, they get to see you as you are in public the same as you are in private and personally. Essentially, you become a coherent individual in all aspects of your life rather than divided into different areas.

What he said (and this is what caught my attention) was that people have a tendency to be so divided that these are the ones who feel they are pious while at church because they pay tithes and offerings, and yet they are backstabbing cheating individuals in their professional and work lives.

This is very interesting to me: the division of individual lives from public to private to personal. Consider that you can be three entirely different people. Someone who is addicted to porn in the personal category and a bishop in the public category. Or someone who is a used car salesman selling cars he knows will break down in one category and then going to church and declaring that we should treat everyone equally and fairly in another category.

What all of this had to do with, in the world of the New Testament, was a possible conflict between Jews who had become more Greek than Jewish, going so far as to speak Greek and not Aramaic or Hebrew and who wore Greek clothing and lived the Greek lifestyle. In the early Christian era, you were literally converting to Judaism rather than Christianity. Christianity took separation from Judaism and the conversion of Gentiles and (further) leaving Jerusalem (e.g. the Temple) for the religion to really take off.

However, consider the notion that within the state of Utah being LDS is very different than, say, anywhere else. We consider the epitome of LDS living to be what is viewable within this state; and yet, can you legitimately tell someone in any other state or nation that they are not equally pious because the do not live in Utah?

My answer to this is, “No.” That is silly. Though, with the, “No,” answer I can also see lots of people that think Utah is Nirvana for members of the LDS faith. I can see that people here think they live better lives than those who are from other places. And I can see that the stereotypical Utah Mormon is the one we all complain about.

On the flipside of that are those who are LDS and come from outside. You know, the places where being a member of the church puts you in a clear minority in this country. The places where early morning seminary doesn’t exist and rivalries between the University of Utah and BYU don’t exist. The places where what happens in Utah doesn’t even cross most people’s radars because, face it, it’s Utah.

We complain (as a nation) that New York feels they are the center of the universe and what happens in New York does (and should) affect the rest of the country slash world. We mourn the loss of lives on 9/11, and rightfully so; but that attack was symbolic because our news agencies, our financial institutions, our publishing houses, our art, and our clothing comes out of New York. Even though the population of New York is less than 1% of the total population of the U.S. we give that city more credit than it should be due.

More, when you go into the Washington D.C. beltway, what happens within that beltway is far more important than what happens outside of the beltway. You lose sight of the world around you because the movers and shakers in Washington D.C. make you believe that what is happening right there (no matter what it is) is far more important than what is happening anywhere else.

I grew up in Texas. Being from Texas (a good thing) is better than living in Texas. However, while you are in or from Texas you have a tendency to compare everything against that state and the values and culture of the state. The phrase, “Everything is bigger in Texas,” is appropriate when you consider that anything that happens or takes place outside of the state doesn’t matter.

It’s not a bad thing to be centered on where you live and what is happening. To some members of the LDS faith, the 2002 Olympics was a fulfillment of prophecy and the world came to the “Top of the Mountains.” Adjust your region-centric attitude a bit and apply “temple” to “top of the mountains” and this could also mean that building LDS Temples all over the world is a better (or more appropriate) interpretation of this prophecy. And yet, when you are in Utah all you care about, all you hear about, is what is important that will make this state more important or more special than anywhere else.

Being LDS in Utah, then, doesn’t negate a person’s innate personality or whatever… it just masks it behind the notion that you are LDS and you are in Utah and you are meant to look as though you are pious – though you don’t necessarily need to be pious. Wearing a CTR ring shows you are LDS. Wearing a CTR ring and sleeping around shows you are LDS but one who chooses not to live the religion.

Recently, we heard a family speak about one of their daughters. I don’t know the family, I have no idea who the daughter is. However, that family prayed they would be able to get their daughter off of some criminal charges and keep her out of jail. In their opinion, going to jail would’ve destroyed this girls life.

That is what it means to be LDS and to use the public sphere. People can’t know that your son or daughter spent time in prison. If the son or daughter did, then they will never have any opportunities to succeed in this life. Repentance is the reconciliaton and restitution of some negative act. Sometimes, in order to obtain true repentance, you have to go to jail.

Conversely, we forget that the religion not only teaches that we should have mercy, but also that mercy cannot rob justice. We require both and forget that you have to consider both when considering how to deal with an individual or situation. I think that we (both those from Utah and those from outside of Utah) forget that when we are dealing with the other we have to realize what is happening, and be willing to work with the person (or people) to better ourselves.

Yes, we will always come across bad examples of any religion. The larger or more concentrated the religion, the more bad examples there will be. The outcome, though, going back to the three spheres of influence, is that all of our actions, individually, as communities, as states, and etc. is to make sure that what people who are complete strangers see is the same person we want to be when there is no one else around.

I think that’s enough ranting.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Clockwork Princess | Cassandra West

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