Jordan called me and said, “Do you wanna hang out?” That was after a couple of other questions and I said, “Yes,” and then continued to sit in front of the television waiting for Erin to get home from her (soon to be ex-) job. About that time Erin came home and then Jordan called and we met him at Harmon’s grocery store. He followed us back to The Married House and then we went to Heber to the Dairy Keen for ice cream or milk shakes or (in the case of Jordan) food.

Then we went home.

Somewhere in the night Jordan and I sat down and looked at the Dramatica software that I am using. Erin and I started to speak about a variety of writing projects that I have in the back of my head. The first one is tentatively titled, The Horses Head which has a lot to do with Jordan. I was actually showing him the work I’d done on it already.

After Jordan left (or was it the day before he came???) Erin asked me to list the projects I intended to be working on and some deadlines I wanted her to remind me of as I pursue various aspects of the novel writing process. The outcome of that conversation, so far, is that I wrote out a list of projects I’ve had in some state of completion for a while that, in some cases, did not have any real draw to push them forward on the project list. However, Erin and I have decided that one of the things we need to pursue is my dream/desire to write fiction professionally and (paraphrasing the dad here) if I don’t publish anything than I will never be known as a writer.

Along with The Horses Head, Jordan also asked me to write a series of five five-minute scripts dealing with the mafia. There is a part of me (still) that is somewhat opposed to doing this; AND at the same time, I have some clearly defined scripts in the back of my head that need to go somewhere. So, I told Jordan I would write them in a couple of weeks and negotiated a percentage if this goes anywhere and negotiated first take on any movies that might spin off of it. Sure, this is Jordan and his desires to post things on youtube.com and the likelihood of anyone picking this up is slim to none; but, still, gotta protect your intellectual property. J. Michael Straczynski points out that he owns most of his Babylon 5 scripts because he wrote them – the ones he didn’t write he doesn’t own even thought he Babylon 5 franchise is pretty much his. These things are important to know, note, and understand.

Anyway, along with The Horses Head and Jordan’s mafia project I also have The Adventures of Alicia Grey to write and The Clockwork Princess which, after explaining the initial concept to Erin she fell madly, passionately, and deeply in love with telling me, “I would’ve read something like that when I was a little girl.” Good thing as it is a young adult oriented story. With that there are a handful of other novel-length projects, a couple of areas where I intend to write short fiction (back to The Clockwork Princess and adding (working title) Small People and Giant Trees into the mix) and then some plays and a couple of TV projects because of other things Erin and I are discussing for when I get done at BYU.

The list actually grows, quite a bit, when you consider that I am also throwing in some old LDS oriented books (not on the list), returning to a couple of other book projects I started for other reasons (mostly school), and then rounding it out with the odds-n-ends of long-term writing projects that I sit on year after year after year wondering if I really want to work on them.

Truth told, when you have the right person at your back and the right motivation, some of those dreams you sit on (I have been sitting on) for a long time start to either come to fruition or leave. I don’t look forward to some of them leaving, but at the same time I do look forward to making some of them come to life.

For example, the other day the ESL project took on a new life. Professor Bush sent me a zipped file full of drawn storyboards for one of the cartoons I wrote. He told me that some more of the people he’d been showing the scripts too found the comedy in that one really funny. As such, it has gotten a lot of the attention and money and time. My job, now, is to get the Foley effects for several scenes. Fun stuff.

Anyway, tomorrow I start a new job… well, I go to orientation that I hope ends when a final starts. I did speak to the professor about showing up late (we are doing presentations of research papers) and he said I could, but, really, I don’t know that I want to do that. Showing up late, that is. I need to call tomorrow morning and see how long the orientation is going to take and whether or not (if it goes longer) I can do the paperwork earlier or later.

The point is, the writing projects are beginning to take on a life of their own, they’re progressing, and I am excited to say that soon (sometime in the next week or so) I will have some deadlines that show progress toward completion.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Denny Crane | Zach Johnson | Bond. James Bond

What is an inciting incident? Well, it’s the event or action that starts a story. The inciting incident should take place close to the beginning of the story; and yet, when you watch movies or read books, sometimes you have to watch or read for a long period of time before the inciting incident actually happens.

Take Happy Feet as an example. The movie, admittedly, is a musical. It is a lot of 50’s and 60’s rock music that penguins sing. In the movie the mythology is that emperor penguins sing to find mates. When you find someone you’re compatible with your songs harmonize with each other; until then, you go from penguin to penguin trying to harmonize and failing.

The story starts as Mumble’s parents meet. One is based pretty entirely off of Elvis Pressley, the other Marilyn Monroe. Normally I look at Elvis sightings as encouragement for me to do the whole “Elvis thing” and channel The King; and yet, not this time. Didn’t work for me. The introduction to the two characters consisted of Marilyn wandering around the other penguins singing. Wandering, that is, until Elvis comes over the rise and starts to sing; then their songs combine and they harmonize.

Move from this to the egg being laid. Move from this to Marilyn leaving Elvis with the egg. Move from this to Elvis, during the long night, losing the egg, potentially freezing the egg, and then finding it and returning to the constant march. Move from this to the eggs all hatching except for Mumble. And then, move from this to Mumble hatching and, instead of singing, beginning to dance.

Really, the movie is about accepting those that are different.

Or was the movie about the environmental impact of humans on fish and therefore the affect humans have on penguins.

Or was the movie about the necessary journey a young man must take before he is prepared to run into and marry the love of his life.

Or was the move about the interaction of animals in the Antarctic.

You know, I have no idea what the movie was about… not even remotely, not even a little, not even one bit.

This is the reason why:

The inciting incident in the story is the moment that the story begins. Some movies and books and television actually (***GASP!!!***) start at the wrong place. This is evident when you watch a movie and have trouble understanding why things have happened or, for that matter, what is meant to be happening. Happy Feet is a movie where the audience is constantly thrown from what is happening or what is meant to be happening to get the audience from beginning to end. If it is not clear, if the audience has to work too hard, if you are ever unclear about what is happening, the movie has failed.

Happy Feet fails.

The inciting incident for the story should’ve been somewhere else. The audience doesn’t care whether or not Elvis and Marilyn hook up. Believe it or not, they don’t, inherently, care about the egg slipping away. They probably don’t even care whether or not the egg hatched at the same time as everyone else OR later. The first twenty (or so) minutes of this movie is a lot of information and visual imagery the audience doesn’t need and doesn’t care about.

Sure, some of the information can be used to explain things, but it could’ve been used as exposition within the story telling to explain why Mumble dances and doesn’t sing. Elvis could’ve muttered, at one point, “Well, I might’ve lost the egg for a couple of seconds,” and there you have it – that’s all we needed to know. Even watching the first eternity of the movie doesn’t improve the story. Not even a little, not even one small bit.

The movie should’ve started with its primary concern. If that concern was the impact of humans on nature than Marilyn should’ve returned complaining about the lack of fish in the sea. Mumbles dancing should’ve been secondary. Yes, it could be used as a reason there were no fish, but then that plot line suggests that the inciting incident was in a different place. Specifically, the inciting incident should’ve been moved to after Mumbles is born and the fact that he can’t sing leading to bad fishing.

However, there is still the journey that was a part of it and Mumble’s meeting the variety of friends that assist him along the way. Here, religion has a place and a long journey all the way from Antarctica to Florida. Mumble’s dancing brings the attention of humans and changes the fishing in Antarctica.

Yeah, the movie sucked. It was bad because each storyline was equally prominent with no discernable central theme. Where central themes existed they were not conducive to a central inciting incident. The outcome was a lot of fun eye candy but what ended up being a very long movie that didn’t offer enough.

With all that said, Happy Feet really didn’t have a good inciting incident. Had the book or movie gone through different channels it would’ve been rejected at every step of the way. And the only reason to watch it is because the CG (computer graphics) are pretty good. But, it’s just not enough to have eye candy. George of the Star Wars fame never learned that and as a result we have a series of movie (Episodes 1 through 3) that really just suck and tell the wrong story. Just because you’ve been paid, in the past, to tell a story and it was popular doesn’t make you a good storyteller or a consistent one.

John Hattaway | smokingpen | Alicia Grey | Zach Johnson | Denny Crane | Bond. James Bond