Wasn’t sure whether or not I should write this up, but I quit my job the other day. I’ve been working for a professor (he was an associate dean) on campus for the past year and, in facing this semester, I was offered a job doing something different that seemed like it might be new and interesting. The problem that came up was that he wanted to continue doing work on his book and, at the same time, keep up with the workload that I was assigned within the new position. Outcome: he e-mailed me last week to tell me I was not keeping up with either and to berate me for canceling a meeting we had to go over the book project we were doing last year. In the e-mail he told me I was not putting in enough hours, not doing enough work, and in the long-run, not doing my job. I was asked to choose what it was I wanted to be doing.
So, I sat on his e-mail. I thought about it. Admittedly, it made me mad. I was doing everything he asked and had cancelled our meeting because I had to be sitting in a test twenty minutes after a meeting with him was meant to start. I know the professor. I know his habits and what he does. And I know that a twenty minute meeting quickly drags into an hour or more. I’ve watched him ignore the clock for meetings he’s supposed to be at so he can push a lot of information at me. The cancellation, on my part, was in order that we have time to actually meet and so that I was not flustered when I sat down to take the test. He has that tendency.
I used the test as my reason for canceling the meeting.
Anyway, I thought about it, calmed down, decided what was important to me, and then proceeded to do what I do when dealing with frustrations like this. I won’t bore y’all with the details. The point is that I spent a long day deciding what was important to me, in my life, and what I needed to do to survive and accomplish my objectives.
Coincidentally, I’d started a freelance job writing scripts for an ESL program that is being produced in partnership with BYU and I went to speak to that professor. The outcome of that talk seemed rather positive as he described to me the scope of the ESL program as well as what he expected from me in the long run; as well as other students. We even talked a bit about characters and then planned our regular meeting the next day. It was fun.
At ten o’clock at night, same day as the first professor’s e-mail, I sat down and re-read an e-mail I’d written earlier in the day. At one point it seemed important to me to get my thoughts down on paper (virtual) about why I would walk away from the job and my understanding of what was going on. I sent the e-mail indicating that I would turn in my last time card on Friday (three days ago) and would make this my official separation from the professor and the job. In the e-mail I thanked him for the confidence he showed in me and the opportunities he gave to me. I also stated that I felt it was time to move on as I could not guarantee (with wedding plans and other things) that I could give him the time and focus he needed to accomplish what he wanted to accomplish.
It seemed kind of weird to me to do that. To walk away from a job I am, would be, and was good at. It seems weird and strange to me that I would comfortably walk away from a sure paycheck for the rest of the time I’m at BYU for… well… who knows what. Granted, I am working somewhere else, but it is also a contractual position. It could go away any time. But, at the same time, I felt that if I was going to succeed in the areas I want to be successful, I needed to separate myself from the professor and the job in order to accomplish what needs to be accomplished.
I think the point is that I am hitting a rather interesting time in my life where I am dealing with the ins and outs of something I’d tried not to have happen, unemployment. And even though I am not, technically, unemployed, there is still a personal notion of that taking place in my life as I wait for the project to get to a paying point and as I wait to see what is about to happen. This is something I honestly wasn’t aiming for in my life. I didn’t want to get to this point and have everything tossed up in the air again. It feels tossed and in the air and yet, I am very comfortable with what is happening to, and around, me.
Anyway, thought I’d update the reading world on my life in that area.
Oh, still getting married. Still August 3rd (for those keeping track). We get to have some engagement pictures taken soon. Probably not done professionally so that the announcement can go into newspapers in different parts of the world… err, U.S. And it seems that we are also coming to the point in the year where I need to come up with names and addresses for Save the Date cards and Announcements and Invitations to go out. We spent, Erin and I, a portion of last night discussing who and how many people needed to be invited to the Temple… I said, “Six,” and then named them. Which was six total and not Erin and me and then six additional people. Erin didn’t say anything, but in not saying anything you could hear the, “NO!” in her voice so… sounds like it will be more than six people; though I did rattle off a list of people that didn’t need to be invited.
Beyond that life progresses as life is wont to progress, I guess. Off to other things.
John Hattaway | smokingpen | Denny Crane | Alicia Grey | Zach Johnson