I hope that one thing becomes apparent with this site and that is I have no problem answering questions either asked through the comments section of the website or through my e-mail (if you can’t find the e-mail link on the site you should say anything because I would be forced to ridicule you).

In the comments section on the post from May 26, 2005 I was asked to clarify some statements that were made and to outline other aspects to my writing. To answer the easier question first: yes, I keep a handwritten journal. I actually keep several handwritten journals for varying items and subjects. My writing journal is different than the personal journal and the personal journal is different from my religious journal. In short, depending on what I am writing about or feel I need to write about changes where I write things. The writing journal, jsyk, is actually more free-form and doesn’t look as much like a journal as it does various sketch-pads and freeform writing methods – however, the ideas and shorts that are put into those journals help create the longer works I want to get published and they act as a repository for information that I am not ready to work on and yet the ideas are flowing and I don’t want to take the time to deal with the ideas at present.

Several months ago I went through a children’s book/story phase and those stories are all recorded in one (of many) of those journals. The preferred repository of choice is actually Mead Composition Books (college ruled); however, Mead stopped producing the variety I like so I switched (and bought out the store I found them at) the Bungee line of Composition books – but found that Staples produces the same kind of Composition book with a paper cover instead of the glossy plastic-esque cover that the Mead Composition Books. On top of that I have started working on a different project (non-fiction) and purchased (half the cost of the college ruled Composition books) a Roaring Springs quad ruled Composition Book. This one gives me the ability to create diagrams and sketches that further illustrate the ideas I am having.

Moving right along…

The idea about sexual abuse is a misnomer. That’s not actually what I am working on. If I said that then I lied. I was speaking to a family friend and she works with women who are recovering from sexual abuse. The topic of choice, for me, is actually domestic violence.

Domestic violence is not something I am familiar with and, at the exact same time, I am closer to it than most people will ever realize. There have been girls in my life, friends, girlfriends, others, who have suffered at the hands of parents, lovers, and relatives. They’ve been beaten, they’ve been hurt both emotionally and physically, and for whatever reason felt that they could share this with me. In one case the girlfriend felt that I needed to know about her past so that I would decide whether or not I would be willing to accept her for who she is. Every aspect of our lives plays into what and who we will become and who were currently are. As stated, no one will ever know everything there is to know about you or me. I don’t share a lot of personal things on this site nor do I share those personal things with people I’ve known for years. Talk to my family or friends and quite often that’s the biggest complaint. I don’t share.

However, to answer the question, it seems important to me, to the girls I’ve come to know and in some cases love, that it is appropriate to honor what they have done with their lives, how far they’ve advanced, their pain and past, and the trust placed in me to share. I will write about domestic abuse (and it may deal with some aspects of sexual abuse as that is common) because that is a part of my life, now, that feels unfinished. It is unfinished. It will probably remain unfinished for a few years.

I had someone share with me that the people we meet in this life remain with us and that each individual is somehow responsible, in part, for how that person turns out. Whether or not I believe that is beside the point. However, what little I can do to help a cause I will and if that means doing a lot of research (you should see the bookshelf in my room on that subject) talking to people, going into parts of my personality that make me sick (because everyone has a piece of that within them) and writing to make people more aware of what is going on around them, then that is what I will do.

There are some aspects to this that I will hint at. For instance, I hope to turn another writing idea or a percentage of anything I make from writing the story into a scholarship for underpriviledged children. The project in question will donate funds toward shelters, help lines, etc. for domestic abuse. Recently, because of some changes in my life, I plan to set-up a perpetual grant (future, think future) that will assist with medical bills to those who are trying to better their lives but are going through a tough spot. There are still other planned, and in some cases felt, projects that go along with my past, my writing, and any success I recieve.

And finally…

Back-story.

Back-story, by definition, is the events that take place before the theoretical beginning of the story you are reading or working on. J.R.R. Tolkien wrote a rather intricate back-story to his works. The Hobbit was actually a form of back-story written to introduce the world to Middle Earth before he set out (to get published) the story he actually wanted to share with the world. I grew up with The Hobbit and the real hero to me, of The Lord of the Rings, is Bilbo. However, Bilbo wasn’t Tolkien’s original hero it was Frodo. Ever read The Silmarillion? Ever hear about it?

Robert Jordan (Reagan O’Neil’s nom de plume) has related, in interviews, that he has created a very large back-story for his Wheel of Time series (one of my favorite series of books). He has files on all major characters, secondary characters, and most minor characters. There is a history of the “magic” he uses and rules that govern the magic (you have to think along the lines of physics which is his educational and professional background). Each nation has a history and on top of that history is a linear series of events that led from “the breaking” until the events that are taking place.

J.K. Rowling author of the Harry Potter series of books has suggested that she also has a rather well developed back-story to her series as well. What makes J.K. Rowling and Robert Jordan interesting is that both not only know what happened before the characters begin their adventures but that they have a very clear ending to their stories. (This, jsyk, is constant food for debate on whether or not Robert Jordan can end his series (you have to have read the series to where its at to understand that statement) and whether or not J.K. Rowling can write a Greek story.)

Back-story is an element of conversation that has been a token of conversation between my friend Andy and I for several years. About four or six years ago (six, it’s six) I was in Atlanta working for STSN (now iBahn) installing networks into hotels. At that time I was working in the Marriott Marquis in downtown Atlanta and Andy was living and working in Atlanta after having transferred to the area with the military. Anyway, that’s background, Andy and I went to dinner one night and he decided it was appropriate to share with me an idea he had/has for a story. The story is one where he’d written a lot of background history and outlined linear events from the creation of his “world” until where his story begins. The problem I had/have with his story is that it is a literal translation from a Dungeons and Dragons role playing adventure that Andy played years ago and smacks of a fantasy book that is derived from that. At the time (six… uhm, yeah… years ago) I took Andy’s idea apart and related back to him (rather accurately) where he’d acquired each of his ideas. At the time two things happened: first, he verified that I was right; and second, he refused to speak to me about writing – until recently. In recent months he’s started talking to me about his backstory.

Recently, I was handed his binder of back-story and character outlines. I am supposed to read through it before he gets back from Italy in a month or so. I’ve not gotten around to it. My British friends dissertation will take a higher priority and even that is lower than several other things that are happening right now (Jordan’s project… The Continuing Adventures of…, learning about Six Sigma, staying up with the training on my new job, etc.). Chances are I will not get to Andy’s binder until later. Jordan’s project is taking slightly higher priority, I told Amelia I’d offer feedback… you probably get the idea.

However, back-story is about what took place in your story before you start your story. Take a look at Harry Potter. Before Harry turns twelve and receives the letters to go to Hogwarts he is living with his aunt and uncle. How did he get there? What do you know about how he got there? Why is that important?

In the first book we learn that his parents (Lilly and James) were killed by He Who Cannot Be Named. You know, Voldemort. This all happened before the story started. Moving forward through the story we learn that James Potter was a pretty good Quidditch player, he was a fair wizard, and that he and Lilly were a part of the resistance against Vodemort. Voldemort killed him. He also killed Lilly in his attempt to kill Harry. Lilly’s death caused Voldemort to fall into a state between life and death and to cause Harry to be immune to his attacks. Harry became famous not because of anything he did but because of something his parents did. Voldemort was no longer in power because Harry survived.

Does that mean that Harry or James or Lilly were the most powerful, most popular, most anything? No, it means that they stood for something and the outcome (the lightning strike scar on Harry’s forehead) are all a part of the story before the story.

J.K. Rowling constantly alludes to things that happened before the story started and relationships that existed before Harry ever went to Hogwarts. Hogwarts, more or less, is where the story begins (yes, yes, yes I know that Hagrid delivers the baby Harry to his aunt and uncle at the beginning of the first book) and everything that happens before Harry and crew are at Hogwarts is back-story.

Think of it another way. Imagine that you are going to fictional a part of your life. Let’s say that you are going to fictionalize your years at college. That’s great. You decide to go to college and your story starts the first day as your parents bring you to campus to drop you off to acclimate into your dorm. The question I would have is: What came before you decided to go to college? How did you decide on where you went to college? Did your parents want you to live in the dorms or spend another year at home? Does your mother worry easy and is letting you go hard on her? Is she the kind of person who will try to follow-up on your every move? What experiences in your past would answer these questions?

Now, I am an older adult college student. Meaning, I didn’t leave home at 18 and go to school, live in the dorms, and worry my mother – in that way. Instead, when I graduated from high school I worked in a plastics factory for three or four months and then went on an LDS church mission for two years. After the mission I drove semi’s, worked with computers as a repair and networking professional, and worked as a technical and copy writer off and on until I moved out here. This is all back-story to a fictionalized tale about me being in New Hampshire. Well, the story is really about my reason to move to New Hampshire, but in truth I need to do some radical rewrites and the story will be “One Year in New Hampshire”.

That story begins something like, “It is impossible to be single, thirty-one, and LDS and be taken seriously in Utah.” My past then plays a role into why I would suggest something like that in my book. What experiences would suggest this would be true? How does my past play into that?

With that story I don’t have to outline linear events. The story is based off of me and where I need to create a reason I just have to think about my life and look at the events and then adapt and experience to the story at hand.

In the case of Jordan’s project and the back-story involved in that, I have been working some of our ideas through my head for a while. When Jordan and I sat down to outline the characters and the simple plots that would be the beginning for our story we created elements that didn’t connect, linearly, to what he wanted me to write. More, as I have worked this idea through the back of my head I’ve realized that this story, though allegedly comedic, required information that needed to connect elements of the story together. Dealing with this, we created a character (at my behest) that is, at the same time, loved and hated. She deals with an element to the story very differently than most people – and cats hate her while she absolutely loved them.

Without really talking about the current project (Jordan – my brother – hasn’t been apprised, but then, he’s hard to get a hold of) there is a history that has to have a linear outline to tell me the events that lead up to the main story. There are characters that have more to them, and the history deals with that, than is known in the current story. The history is important to some of what is going on but not so much that the reader will ever know everything. I know how things are connected; I have a linear history of events that lead up to the beginning of the story. This all connects into how the characters interact, how the story moved forward, why the protagonists are in the situation they’re in (whether or not they realize the reason) and why events move forward. The past is what puts us in the now.

Okay, I’ve written enough for today. I am thinking I should’ve done this over days and not hours. Maybe this should’ve been done in installments and not all at one time. I’m sure I am leaving something out, but in truth, I now need to think about it, see what the process is inside of me, and then decide whether or not I need to add more later.

Thanks for asking. If I need to clarify more or better please let me know. I am all about sharing.

Okay, you who know me can stop laughing now.

In case you’d missed it, I’ve added a couple of links off to the left and I changed the little blurb up on top. The way things are written is intentional.

Regardless, work is going all right.

Watched the season finale of ABC’s Lost last night. As a result of that venture I discovered how easy it is to locate the recipe and materials for nitroglycerin. Nitro is one of the most unstable and most explosive substances known to man. A very little can cause a very large explosion and on top of that the unstable nature makes the substance highly volatile. Moreover, dynamite is a scaled down version of nitro and because of the relationship between dynamite and nitroglycerin when temperatures get above a certain level the outcome is that the dynamite sweats nitroglycerin making the sticks even more deadly and dangerous.

I actually did something today that kind of surprises me. I’ve had several bills that have sat in a past due date for quite some time. This has caused me a little trouble and embarrassment over the past year as I’ve tried to be in a situation where I can afford to pay things like that off and not have to worry about the negative marks on my credit. Well, I called the collection agencies that own the bills and paid them all off today. This is as a result of some freelance work I have done and am doing while Debbie is out of the country.

I’ve also increased and accelerated the payments on the credit card I had several years ago. The problem that I have with this is that the first series of increased payments starts tomorrow and… well, I spent a lot of money today to make sure that my credit report was clean. Within a month most of the reports will be cleaned off and I am hoping that some things that have been on there for years will also be removed or altered so that I can move forward with other plans and goals.

Just got off of the elliptical trainer. Tell you what, that things sucks. It’s not that I don’t get a workout; rather the nature of the workout. Being outside is so nice and being inside is so… it’s not as nice. Don’t get me wrong, I like the notion of being inside, of having a place to stay and live, but going on long walks, seeing the neighborhood for miles and miles around makes the entire experience so much nicer. There are trees, and lots of them, and for some reason the notion of spending time in nature, of being able to stop and snap a picture (on my phone) of something I’ve seen makes the whole experience that much better. The whole experience is so much nicer than standing in one place and working against the machine without seeing anything different – and the whole television and movie thing doesn’t help.

On top of that I have created a rather intricate outline for back-story dealing with a story Jordan and I worked on a year or two ago. I’ve sometimes wondered why someone would put a lot of effort into back-story. Why would you spend years creating a background for characters and events that are only going to be glossed over? And yet, I am almost literally creating an intricate back-story about two of the characters and other elements to what is going on. There is so much about the story that will never really be told that and yet there is something about having it back there that makes telling the story I want to tell that much more interesting.

There’re a lot of things that are built around the past in each of our lives and yet we don’t share those things with other people. We don’t sit down and outline every nuance in our lives and every element that has led to the person we are now. Most people, regardless of how intimate they get, never share all of the details of their lives and there will always be elements to our lives that remain, forever, hidden.

With all that said. You’re still not getting more out of me.