Bloggering Time

It’s Bloggering time. Okay. That was a rip from the Fantastic Four, the Thing, Marvel Comics. But still, I am here to blog, baby.

Basically, things have gone from bad to… worse. Seems that the hospital finally sent me my bill and it was pretty significant. Shook my world. Caused me to fall into some kind of intense sweat, and now I am wondering how I am going to pay it. Money is so dirty. Anyway, got a second bill today from the x-ray department for the x-rays, which, just so you know, were included in the original bill and that takes me higher. Oh, so much higher.

It’s Bloggering time. Okay. That was a rip from the Fantastic Four, the Thing, Marvel Comics. But still, I am here to blog, baby.

Basically, things have gone from bad to… worse. Seems that the hospital finally sent me my bill and it was pretty significant. Shook my world. Caused me to fall into some kind of intense sweat, and now I am wondering how I am going to pay it. Money is so dirty. Anyway, got a second bill today from the x-ray department for the x-rays, which, just so you know, were included in the original bill and that takes me higher. Oh, so much higher.

Work isn’t going to pay for this. Meaning, I don’t make enough money to put any kind of a significant dent into what I owe and that kind of hurts. I’m a smart guy with lots of talents that can’t seem to get the shiznet together enough to actually get a good job. Makes you wonder what’s really going on here.

Anyway, that’s all a beside the point thing. Can’t go back and undo the hospital visit. Probably wouldn’t if I could. I thought I was going to die. Pretty much figured that the appendix was going to burst (that’s the abdominal quadrant the pain was in) and figured that I just had to suck up the experience. Uhm. Yeah.

When I got the first bill, Friday, I pretty much mentally shut down. I’d gotten up in the morning, went to the temple (in Boston) then came home and puttered around for a while. After looking at the bill I shut down (mentally) and took off for work. Pretty sad day when work becomes my brainless refuge. At work Harley was there, Harley is this twelve year old kid of one of my coworkers and a few of us take turns spending time with him. I didn’t really anticipate his being there and when I found out he was I went out and talked to him for a while. Nothing like a twelve year old to take your mind off of… well… money. They have no concept of money – but then, neither do I.

So, I went to the temple and I was there because I felt I like it was really important for me to go and while I was there I had some pretty interesting impressions. Going to the temple, for anyone who reads this that doesn’t know, is a lot about a oneness with God. That’s not really it. The temple is about families and the generations that have passed on before us. The work in the temple is for the people who are dead (often for hundreds of years) – read Malachi in the Old Testament. Anyway, going isn’t always about the work. Sometimes you go because you need to meditate, take stock of your life, determine whether or not what you are doing is worth doing or continuing, reorient, find your north star, and then chart a new course. Yesterday was about the meditation and the course. I needed to see if I needed to change my heading.

The feelings, the impressions, I received as I was in the temple really dealt with some odd things. First, I need to exercise more. Five miles a day. I probably ought to live off of Tums. Not really, but my problem (see earlier) really may be something simple. And finally, I need to redo my resume, I even had a format come to mind, and finally sit down and edit that book I wrote back in November.

So, last night I reformatted the chapters on the book. I think there were ten or twelve when I wrote it initially. They were wicked long. Now there are a significant number more. The chapters aren’t as long.

I need to get the chutzpah together and start reading the thing and then negotiate with Debbie to get her to go through it once for me, quickly.

Beyond that the only other thing that came to mind was a quote from a Priesthood Leadership meeting I attended a couple of years ago. Paraphrasing: Sometimes we have to step out into the darkness before a miracle can happen. There was a lot more to it, the next one hundred yards where we get to rest, but that initial step into the darkness that’s important.

Anyway, lots of things are happening all around me. I’m still out here. Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, right now. I’m amazed I mean that. Eight months (I think) and I am still only wanting to be out here. When I lived in Dallas, I moved because I wanted to be closer to my parents. Then my parents moved to Colorado (I’d already moved back to Utah because my dad said to me once, “Go where the girls are,” and Utah’s where the LDS girls mostly are) and I liked being close to them. Now I am close to no one and I couldn’t imagine my life any different. Well, that’s not really true. I can imagine going back to Utah but then I get sick to my stomach and I start to hyperventilate and the world starts to spin and….

Point being is that I planned to move to the East coast. I hoped to move to Boston. That is still a goal and one of the many directions in which I am heading and hopefully by fall I will be living in Boston and doing my Boston thing.

The important part to all of this is that I have to trust that I am doing what is right and that the money, the bills, everything will work themselves out. I may get to work another job and slave to pay everything, but they will work themselves out.